Lauren Dummit-Schock 9/27/25 Lauren Dummit-Schock 9/27/25

The Creature of Anxiety: How Regret, Shame, and Self-Doubt Hijack the Mind and Body

Anxiety can feel like a creature feeding on regrets, mistakes, and self-doubt. Discover how neuroscience explains anxiety’s grip on the nervous system and learn therapeutic pathways to restore calm, resilience, and connection with support from Embodied Wellness and Recovery.

When Anxiety Becomes Its Own Creature

Bassey Ikpi writes in I’m Telling the Truth, but I’m Lying:

"Anxiety is its own creature. Anxiety asks me to focus on the terrible things I’ve done. The people I’ve hurt. The promises I’ve broken. Anxiety tells me to make a list. Mistakes. Regrets. Lies. A litany of shortcomings, a coil tightened, ready to spring."

This description resonates with anyone who has felt anxiety take on a life of its own. Anxiety is not just worry. It is a relentless narrator, spinning stories of failure and shame, tightening the coil of the nervous system until release feels impossible.

But why does anxiety hijack the mind and body in this way? And how can we loosen its grip?

Anxiety as More Than Worry: What Science Tells Us

Neuroscience reveals that anxiety is a survival response rooted in the brain. When the amygdala, the brain’s alarm center, perceives threat, it triggers the fight, flight, or freeze response. This system is vital when real danger is present, but in chronic anxiety, the alarm misfires, keeping the body in a constant state of readiness.

The prefrontal cortex, responsible for reasoning and perspective, struggles to override the amygdala when stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline flood the nervous system. As a result, anxiety becomes a loop: intrusive thoughts trigger physical symptoms, which reinforce more anxious thoughts.

Anxiety is not weakness or lack of willpower. It is the nervous system locked in a state of survival mode.

The Painful Questions Anxiety Asks

Anxiety often forces people to interrogate themselves with questions that feel impossible to answer:

      — Why can’t I stop replaying the mistakes I’ve made?
  — Why does my mind fixate on the people I’ve hurt, even if I’ve apologized?
— Why do my thoughts circle around regrets like a list I cannot finish?
     — Why does my body feel wound so tightly, like I’m always on the verge of snapping?

These questions are not a reflection of your worth but of your nervous system in overdrive.

How Anxiety Shapes the Body and Mind

The Physiology of the Coil

Chronic anxiety keeps the sympathetic nervous system active, which can lead to muscle tension, rapid heartbeat, shallow breathing, and digestive upset. The body becomes the stage where anxiety plays out, reinforcing the sense that escape is impossible.

The Role of Shame and Self-Worth

Anxiety often intertwines with shame, convincing you that mistakes define who you are. Neuroscience research shows that shame activates similar brain regions as physical pain (Eisenberger, 2012), which explains why regret can feel like a wound that never heals.

The Silence of Unseen Struggles

Cultural, familial, or institutional invalidation can deepen anxiety. When someone hears “just stop worrying” or “you’re overreacting,” the nervous system’s distress is dismissed. This lack of empathetic witnessing reinforces self-doubt and silence.

The Ripple Effect of Anxiety on Relationships and Intimacy

Anxiety rarely stays contained within the mind. It spills into relationships, intimacy, and sexuality. Partners may misinterpret anxious withdrawal as disinterest or avoidance. Performance anxiety can disrupt sexual functioning by preventing the body from relaxing into pleasure. Chronic stress shifts hormonal balance, lowering libido and creating further shame.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we understand anxiety not only as a mental health condition but as a relational and somatic experience that affects every part of life.

Pathways Toward Repair and Regulation

Somatic Therapy

Because anxiety lives in the body as much as the mind, somatic therapy helps clients notice physical sensations, discharge excess survival energy, and build nervous system resilience.

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)

EMDR helps reprocess intrusive memories and regrets, allowing them to lose their grip on the nervous system. By integrating past experiences, the mind no longer needs to circle endlessly around mistakes and shame.

Mind-Body Approaches

Practices such as breathwork, mindfulness, and trauma-informed yoga help strengthen the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps restore balance after stress. Over time, these tools help shift the nervous system from a state of vigilance to one of regulation.

Relational Repair

Healing also requires safe relationships where vulnerability is met with empathy rather than invalidation. In therapy, clients experience the power of being seen, which rewires the brain’s sense of safety and helps restore self-worth.

Asking Different Questions

As anxiety loosens its hold, the painful questions begin to change:

— Instead of “Why can’t I stop replaying mistakes?” you may ask, “What can I learn from my past without being defined by it?”
— Instead of “Why does my body feel wound so tightly?” you may ask, “How can I help my body feel safe right now?”
— Instead of “Why do I feel unworthy?” you may ask, “How can I honor the resilience it took to survive?”

These questions reflect a nervous system learning to trust itself again.

Rewriting the Narrative

Anxiety may feel like its own creature, feeding on regrets and shame. However, neuroscience reveals that it is the nervous system doing its best to protect you, even when that protection feels suffocating.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we help clients transform anxiety’s litany of shortcomings into a story of resilience, self-compassion, and connection. Through somatic therapy, EMDR, and trauma-informed care, the coil of anxiety can be gently unwound, making space for presence, intimacy, and vitality.

Contact us today to schedule a complimentary 20-minute consultation with our team of somatic practitioners, trauma specialists, and relationship experts, and start your journey toward embodied connection with yourself and others, and free yourself from the bondage of anxiety.

📞 Call us at (310) 651-8458

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References

Eisenberger, N. I. (2012). The neural bases of social pain: Evidence for shared representations with physical pain. Psychosomatic Medicine, 74(2), 126–135. https://doi.org/10.1097/PSY.0b013e3182464dd1

Levine, P. A. (2010). In an unspoken voice: How the body releases trauma and restores goodness. Berkeley, CA: North Atlantic Books.

Siegel, D. J. (2010). The mindful therapist: A clinician’s guide to mindsight and neural integration. New York, NY: W. W. Norton & Company.

Lauren Dummit-Schock 9/15/25 Lauren Dummit-Schock 9/15/25

Anxiety in the Body: How to Release Nervous System Energy Before You Can Truly Relax

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5737241170

Discover why extreme anxiety makes it so difficult to calm down and meditate. Learn how up-regulating practices like movement and sound discharge nervous system energy, making space for soothing practices such as breathwork, yoga, and meditation to restore balance.

Why Can’t I Just Calm Down?

When anxiety takes hold, it can feel impossible to settle. You may sit down to meditate, breathe deeply, or practice yoga, only to find your body is buzzing, your thoughts are racing, and your restlessness only grows. Instead of feeling calmer, you feel trapped inside a storm of activation.

Do you ever wonder: Why can’t I just relax? Why does my body feel hijacked by anxiety no matter how hard I try?

The truth is that anxiety is not only in the mind. It is a full-body experience, a surge of energy in the nervous system that needs an outlet before true calm can arrive. Understanding this process through the lens of neuroscience and somatic regulation is the key to learning how to soothe anxiety effectively.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we help clients recognize what state their nervous system is in and respond with practices that truly fit the moment. By aligning body, mind, and relationship, we guide people toward lasting nervous system repair and emotional resilience.

The Neuroscience of Anxiety: When the Sympathetic Nervous System Takes Over

Anxiety is the body’s way of preparing for threat. When your nervous system senses danger, whether real or perceived, the sympathetic branch activates:

— The amygdala (the brain’s alarm system) signals danger
— Stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline flood your system
— Heart rate increases, muscles tense, breath quickens

This “fight or flight” response is adaptive if you need to act quickly, but when it is triggered chronically, your body becomes flooded with activation and has nowhere to release it. That’s why sitting still and forcing calm rarely works. Your body isn’t ready for down-regulation yet.

Why Traditional Relaxation Can Backfire

Have you ever tried to meditate while your heart is racing? Or practice deep breathing while your body feels restless and shaky? Instead of feeling soothed, you may end up more agitated.

This happens because:

     — Suppression doesn’t work. Forcing stillness ignores the body’s need to release activation.
    — Energy needs an outlet. Without release, the nervous system stays stuck in sympathetic arousal.
  — Relaxation feels unsafe. When your body is still flooded with adrenaline, slowing down can actually feel threatening rather than soothing.

The key is not to force calm but to complete the cycle, allowing the body to discharge the activation first.

The Pressure Valve: Up-Regulation Before Down-Regulation

Think of your body like a pressure cooker. Anxiety is the steam building up inside. If you try to clamp the lid down tighter with meditation or stillness, the pressure only increases. But if you open the valve—giving the energy a way out—the nervous system can reset.

Up-Regulating Practices: Releasing Energy

Before moving into calming practices, the body often needs movement or sound to discharge activation. Examples include:

— Shaking out your limbs
— Dancing to rhythmic music
— Going for a brisk run or walk
— Humming, chanting, or singing
— Vigorous breathwork (e.g., Breath of Fire)

These practices provide the nervous system with a release, helping reduce the “buzz” of sympathetic arousal.

Down-Regulating Practices: Restoring Calm

Once the energy has moved through, your body is ready to enter a state of restoration. Now, soothing practices can take effect:

     — Slow, diaphragmatic breathing
   — Gentle guided meditation or visualization
   — Yin or restorative yoga
  — Progressive muscle relaxation
  — Soft humming or lengthened exhalations

Instead of trying to force calm on a nervous system still flooded with energy, these practices now land deeply, helping the body shift into the parasympathetic “rest and digest” state.

The Key Is Discernment

The most important skill in regulating anxiety is discernment, noticing what state your nervous system is in and responding accordingly. Ask yourself:

— Am I feeling restless, buzzing, or trapped with energy?
➡️ Then I likely need up-regulation and movement.
— Am I feeling depleted, exhausted, or flat?
➡️ Then I may benefit more from down-regulation and soothing.

By tuning in to these signals, you learn to respond with what your body truly needs, rather than forcing practices that don’t align with your current state.

Questions to Consider

— What happens in your body when anxiety peaks: racing heart, shallow breath, restlessness?
— Do you notice trying to force calm when your body is still in overdrive?
— What up-regulating practices have you tried that help release energy before you settle?

Nervous System Repair at Embodied Wellness and Recovery

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we see anxiety not as a flaw but as a full-body survival response. Our work integrates:

— Trauma-informed therapy to uncover root triggers
— Somatic practices to release stored activation
— EMDR and neuroscience-backed approaches to rewire stress responses
— Relational repair to restore intimacy and trust in connection

By combining these methods, we guide clients from a place of anxious overdrive toward nervous system balance, resilience, and authentic presence.

From Stuck to Balanced

Anxiety is not simply a mental battle; it is a physiological experience of the nervous system. When energy is stuck, the body cannot simply be forced into calm. By learning to first release activation through up-regulating practices and then soothing with down-regulating ones, you can guide your nervous system back to equilibrium.

The next time anxiety surges, instead of asking yourself, How can I suppress this? But instead, what outlet does my body need right now? This shift can transform anxiety from an endless loop into an opportunity for nervous system repair and a deeper connection to yourself.

Contact us today to schedule a free 20-minute consultation with our team of somatic practitioners, trauma specialists, and relationship experts and begin your journey toward embodied connection, clarity, and confidence.