Stress: The Spice of Life? Understanding Eustress, Distress, and Neustress Through a Neuroscience Lens

Stress is often viewed as harmful, but not all stress is bad. Learn how eustress, distress, and neustress shape your brain, body, and relationships and discover practical tools for balance from experts in trauma, nervous system repair, and holistic therapy.

Rethinking Stress

When you hear the word stress, what comes to mind? Perhaps racing thoughts, tense shoulders,  or sleepless nights. It might surprise you to learn that the word itself originates from the Latin term stringere, meaning “to draw tight” or “distress.” Yet in modern neuroscience and psychology, stress is far more complex than a single negative state.

Without stress, life would not just be boring; it would be unlivable. Stress is the engine of human physiology, shaping how we wake up, learn, connect, and respond to danger. It drives motivation, fuels growth, and even protects us. At the same time, unmanaged or overwhelming stress can wreak havoc on our nervous system, relationships, and long-term health.

So how do we make sense of this paradox? The key lies in recognizing the three primary types of stress: eustress, distress, and neustress.

Why Does Stress Feel So Overwhelming?

If you’ve ever wondered:

     — Why does some pressure motivate me, while other stress leaves me paralyzed?

     — Why do I feel exhausted by constant small stressors that “shouldn’t matter”?
     — How does stress affect not just my body, but my emotions and relationships?

You are asking the right questions. The nervous system interprets stress through multiple pathways: cognitive, hormonal, and somatic. Whether stress becomes supportive or harmful depends on intensity, duration, and your ability to regulate your body’s response.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we help individuals explore these nuances through trauma-informed therapy, somatic work, and relational healing. Understanding these stress types is the first step toward regaining balance.

The Three Types of Stress

1. Eustress: The Helpful Stress That Fuels Growth

Eustress is often called “positive stress.” It’s the energy you feel before a big presentation, the nervous excitement before a first date, or the adrenaline that pushes you to complete a challenging project.

From a neuroscience perspective, eustress activates the sympathetic nervous system in a manageable way. Stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline increase alertness and sharpen focus, but they don’t overwhelm your system. Instead, they prime your brain for neuroplasticity, the process of learning and growth.

     — Examples of Eustress: Preparing for a job interview, training for a marathon, or learning a new skill.
    — Benefits: Enhances motivation, builds resilience, and fosters adaptability.

When harnessed well, eustress strengthens both the body and mind. The key is that it feels challenging but manageable, a balance between effort and reward.

2. Distress: When Stress Turns Toxic

Distress is the type of stress most of us are familiar with, the overwhelming, exhausting kind that erodes our well-being.

Distress occurs when the demands placed on you exceed your perceived resources to cope. Neuroscience shows that chronic distress keeps the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis in overdrive, flooding the body with stress hormones. Over time, this leads to nervous system dysregulation, emotional reactivity, inflammation, and even long-term conditions such as anxiety, depression, and cardiovascular disease.

     — Examples of Distress: Financial strain, relationship conflict, workplace burnout, or unresolved trauma.
    — Consequences: Impaired memory and concentration, weakened immune function, and increased vulnerability to mental health disorders.

Distress doesn’t just affect the body; it impacts relationships, intimacy, and our ability to feel safe with others. At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we see how unresolved distress often shows up as trauma symptoms, intimacy struggles, and compulsive behaviors.

3. Neustress: The Neutral Stress We Don’t Notice

The third category, neustress, often flies under the radar. Neustress refers to stressors that have a neutral effect, neither clearly positive nor overtly harmful.

For example, hearing about an earthquake on the news may register as stress in your nervous system even if it doesn’t directly affect you. Engaging in activities like reading emails, scrolling social media, or encountering constant minor interruptions can all create low-level neustress.

While neustress might seem harmless, it adds up. Constant low-intensity stressors keep the nervous system on alert, leading to allostatic load, the wear and tear on the body from chronic stress exposure.

     — Examples of Neustress: Ambient noise, information overload, or updates about distant events.
    — Impact: Cumulative strain, reduced focus, subtle fatigue, and emotional irritability.

This explains why many people feel drained without a clear cause. Our modern environment bombards us with constant micro-stressors that never give the nervous system a chance to reset.

How Stress Shapes the Brain and Body

Neuroscientific research highlights that stress isn’t simply “in your head.” It reshapes the nervous system at every level:

     — Amygdala: Heightened reactivity during distress makes the brain more sensitive to perceived threats.
    — Prefrontal Cortex: Chronic stress weakens executive functioning, making it harder to plan, regulate emotions, and make thoughtful choices.
    — Hippocampus: Prolonged stress impairs memory and learning, reducing resilience to future stressors.
    — Autonomic Nervous System: Unresolved stress locks the body in fight-flight or freeze, limiting access to safety, rest, and intimacy.

Understanding these mechanisms can help you move from feeling powerless to recognizing stress as something you can regulate and reshape.

Practical Tools for Managing Stress

1. Somatic Practices for Regulation
Techniques like breathwork, grounding, yoga, or Somatic Experiencing help discharge stress energy from the body, restoring balance to the nervous system.

2. Mindful Awareness
Slowing down to notice whether stress is eustress, distress, or neustress gives you a choice. Ask: Is this pressure motivating me, overwhelming me, or subtly draining me?

3. Healthy Relationships and Boundaries
Connection with supportive people regulates the nervous system. Conversely, toxic or boundaryless relationships amplify distress.

4. Therapeutic Support
Working with trauma-informed therapists can help you unpack unresolved distress, build tools for emotional regulation, and transform your relationship to stress.

Stress, Relationships, and Intimacy

Stress doesn’t just live in the body; it impacts how we love and connect. Distress often leads to withdrawal, irritability, or conflict. Neustress can create disconnection through constant distraction. But eustress, like working together toward shared goals, can actually deepen intimacy.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we specialize in helping clients repair nervous system dysregulation that undermines connection. Through EMDR, somatic therapy, and relational counseling, couples and individuals learn to turn stress from a wedge into an opportunity for growth.

Hope for a Balanced Relationship with Stress

If you feel consumed by stress, ask yourself: Am I facing distress, eustress, or neustress? By naming the type of stress, you reclaim power. With the proper support, stress can become less of a threat and more of a signal, a guide toward what needs attention, release, or resilience.

Stress truly is the spice of life. But like any spice, the key lies in balance, integration, and mindful use.

Transforming Your Relationship to Stress

Stress will always be a part of life. But how it shapes your health, relationships, and sense of safety depends on how you relate to it. At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we guide clients through neuroscience-informed therapy to transform their stress responses, helping them live not only with less distress, but with more vitality, connection, and ease.

Reach out to schedule a free 20-minute consultation with our team of trauma specialists, somatic practitioners, and relationship experts, and learn to manage your stress today.

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References

American Psychological Association. (2023). Stress effects on the body. 

McEwen, B. S. (2007). Physiology and neurobiology of stress and adaptation: Central role of the brain. Physiological Reviews, 87(3), 873–904.

Sapolsky, R. M. (2004). Why zebras don’t get ulcers: The acclaimed guide to stress, stress-related diseases, and coping. Holt Paperbacks.