From Survival to Stability: How Dialectical Behavior Therapy Supports Trauma Recovery

Struggling with emotional dysregulation after trauma is a nervous system response, not a failure. Learn how DBT supports trauma recovery, regulation, and resilience.

When Trauma Leaves the Nervous System Stuck

For many people, trauma does not live in the past. It lives in the body. Even long after an event has ended, the nervous system may remain on high alert, swinging between emotional overwhelm and shutdown.

You might find yourself asking:

Why do my emotions feel so intense and unpredictable?
Why do small stressors trigger outsized reactions?
Why does my body feel unsafe even when I know I am not in danger?
Why do I struggle to calm myself down once I am activated?

These experiences are not signs of weakness or lack of insight. They are hallmarks of unresolved trauma impacting the nervous system’s ability to regulate.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy, commonly known as DBT, offers a structured, neuroscience-informed approach that helps individuals stabilize emotional reactivity, build regulation skills, and create a foundation for deeper trauma recovery.

Understanding Trauma Through a Nervous System Lens

Trauma disrupts the brain’s ability to accurately assess safety. The amygdala becomes hypersensitive to threat, while the prefrontal cortex, which supports reasoning and impulse control,  becomes less accessible during stress.

This imbalance can lead to:

     — Emotional flooding
    — Chronic anxiety or panic
    — Dissociation or emotional numbness
    — Impulsive behaviors
    — Difficulty in relationships
    — Intense shame or self-criticism

Trauma is not only about what happened. It is about how the nervous system adapted to survive.

What Is Dialectical Behavior Therapy

Marsha Linehan originally developed DBT to treat chronic emotional dysregulation and self-harming behaviors. Over time, research has shown that DBT is highly effective for individuals with trauma histories, particularly those who struggle with intense emotions and nervous system instability.

At its core, DBT is based on two central ideas:

     — Acceptance of reality as it is
    — Commitment to meaningful change

This balance is especially important in trauma recovery.

Why DBT Is Effective for Trauma Recovery

Many trauma survivors are told to process traumatic memories before they have the skills to regulate the emotional fallout. This can feel overwhelming or destabilizing.

DBT takes a different approach. It focuses first on building safety, regulation, and emotional tolerance. Once the nervous system has more stability, trauma processing becomes safer and more effective.

The Neuroscience Behind DBT Skills

DBT skills strengthen neural pathways that support regulation, awareness, and intentional action. Over time, these skills help shift the brain out of survival mode and into a state where reflection and choice are possible.

DBT works by repeatedly engaging the prefrontal cortex during moments of emotional activation. This gradually increases the brain’s capacity to stay online under stress.

The Four Core DBT Skill Sets and Trauma Recovery

1. Mindfulness: Rebuilding Present Moment Safety

Trauma pulls attention into the past or future. Mindfulness helps anchor awareness in the present moment, where safety can be assessed accurately.

For trauma survivors, mindfulness is not about emptying the mind. It is about noticing internal experience without being overwhelmed by it.

Mindfulness supports trauma recovery by:

     — Increasing awareness of bodily sensations
    — Reducing dissociation
    — Strengthening emotional clarity
    — Improving nervous system tracking of safety

2. Distress Tolerance: Surviving Emotional Storms

Trauma often leaves people with a narrow window of tolerance. Distress tolerance skills help individuals get through moments of intense emotion without making things worse.

These skills do not eliminate pain. They help the nervous system ride the wave until regulation returns.

Examples include grounding techniques, temperature shifts, and sensory engagement. These strategies communicate safety to the body when emotions feel unbearable.

3. Emotion Regulation: Expanding the Window of Tolerance

Emotion regulation skills teach individuals how emotions work, how they are influenced by biology and environment, and how to reduce vulnerability to emotional extremes.

For trauma survivors, this often involves:

     — Understanding how sleep, nutrition, and stress impact mood
    — Learning to identify emotions accurately
    — Reducing shame around emotional responses
    — Building experiences that support positive emotional states

Over time, emotion regulation skills help the nervous system recover flexibility.

4. Interpersonal Effectiveness: Repairing Relational Safety

Trauma frequently occurs in relational contexts, and healing also happens in relationship. DBT interpersonal effectiveness skills help individuals communicate needs, set boundaries, and navigate conflict without escalating nervous system activation.

These skills support:

     — Healthier attachment patterns
    — Reduced fear of abandonment or rejection
    — Improved self-respect
    — More stable and satisfying relationships

Relational safety is a cornerstone of trauma recovery.

DBT and the Concept of Radical Acceptance

One of the most powerful components of DBT is radical acceptance. This does not mean approving of what happened. It means acknowledging reality as it is rather than fighting it internally.

From a nervous system perspective, resistance keeps the body in a state of activation. Acceptance reduces internal conflict and allows energy to be directed toward regulation and growth.

How DBT Integrates With Trauma Processing Therapies

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, DBT is often integrated with trauma processing approaches such as EMDR and somatic therapy.

DBT provides the skills and stability needed to approach trauma memories without overwhelming the nervous system. Trauma processing then helps resolve the underlying drivers of dysregulation.

This integrative approach respects both the biology and the lived experience of trauma.

DBT, Trauma, and Sexuality

Trauma often impacts sexuality, intimacy, and bodily autonomy. DBT supports trauma recovery in this area by helping individuals:

    — Notice bodily cues without panic
    — Tolerate vulnerability
    — Communicate boundaries and desires
    — Reduce shame and self-judgment

These skills create the conditions for safer, more connected intimacy.

What Progress With DBT Often Looks Like

Trauma recovery through DBT is not about eliminating emotion. It is about increasing capacity.

Clients often notice:

     — Shorter emotional recovery times
    — Fewer impulsive reactions
    — Improved relationships
    — Greater self trust
    — Increased sense of agency
    — More consistent nervous system regulation

These changes reflect neural rewiring over time.

Why Professional Support Matters

DBT skills are powerful, but they are most effective when learned within a supportive therapeutic relationship. A trauma informed therapist helps tailor skills to individual nervous system needs and ensures pacing that supports safety.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we specialize in helping clients build regulation first so deeper healing can unfold sustainably.

Restoring the Nervous System’s Capacity for Safety

Unresolved trauma often leaves the nervous system stuck in survival mode. DBT offers a practical, compassionate path toward stability, regulation, and resilience.

By strengthening mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness, DBT helps trauma survivors reclaim agency and build a foundation for lasting recovery.

Trauma recovery is not about erasing the past. It is about restoring the nervous system’s ability to feel safe in the present.

Reach out to schedule a complimentary 20-minute consultation with our team of therapists, parenting coaches, trauma specialists, somatic practitioners, or relationship experts, and start helping your teen work towards integrative, embodied healing today. 

📞 Call us at (310) 651-8458

📱 Text us at (310) 210-7934

📩 Email us at admin@embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

🔗 Visit us at www.embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

👉 Check us out on Instagram @embodied_wellness_and_recovery

🌍 Explore our offerings at Linktr.ee: https://linktr.ee/laurendummit

References 

1) Herman, J. L. (1992). Trauma and recovery: The aftermath of violence from domestic abuse to political terror. Basic Books.

2) Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT skills training manual (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

3) Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton.

4) van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.

Accelerated Resolution Therapy vs. EMDR: A Somatic and Neuroscience-Informed Look at Two Powerful Trauma Therapies

Struggling with trauma symptoms that just won’t go away? Discover the differences between Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) and EMDR, and learn how somatic and neuroscience-informed care at Embodied Wellness and Recovery can help you regulate your nervous system, process trauma, and reconnect with yourself and others.

What Happens When Trauma Gets Stuck in the Body?

Do you ever feel like your trauma is “locked in,” resurfacing in your body, relationships, or even sleep patterns? Maybe you find yourself reactive in ways that feel confusing or disconnected from what’s actually happening in the moment. This isn’t just in your head; it’s your nervous system doing exactly what it was wired to do: protect you. But when trauma isn’t fully processed, that survival energy can stay lodged in the body and brain, cycling in patterns of hypervigilance, shutdown, or emotional overwhelm.

Trauma-focused therapies like Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) are designed to help the brain and body reorganize these unprocessed memories so that you can finally access a felt sense of internal safety. While both therapies use bilateral stimulation to regulate the nervous system and process trauma, they differ in structure, pacing, and approach.

So how do you choose between ART and EMDR, and why are somatic and neuroscience-informed perspectives so essential to long-term healing?

What Is Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART)?

Accelerated Resolution Therapy is a relatively short-term, protocol-driven trauma therapy that uses voluntary image replacement and eye movements to change how distressing memories are stored in the brain. Developed by Laney Rosenzweig, ART incorporates elements of traditional psychotherapy, guided imagery, and somatic awareness. It allows clients to replace disturbing visual memories with calming ones without needing to talk through every detail of the traumatic event.

Rather than reliving the trauma, clients re-script the memory through a process that blends visualization, body awareness, and rapid eye movements, offering quick relief for symptoms like flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety, or irritability.

What Is EMDR?

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a more widely known trauma therapy created by Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s. It is based on the Adaptive Information Processing (AIP) model, which suggests that trauma becomes stored in the brain in a fragmented, unintegrated way. EMDR helps clients revisit traumatic memories in a systematic 8-phase process, using bilateral stimulation (usually eye movements) to facilitate reprocessing.

Clients work through the emotional, cognitive, somatic, and sensory aspects of trauma, often identifying core negative beliefs like “I’m not safe” or “I’m unlovable,” and replacing them with adaptive beliefs like “I am safe now” or “I am worthy.”

ART vs. EMDR: A Side-by-Side Look

Aspect ART EMDR

Length of Treatment 1–5 sessions for symptom resolution 8–12+ sessions, especially for complex trauma

Memory Processing Style Voluntary Image Replacement Adaptive reprocessing of memory networks

Verbal Disclosure Minimal; trauma can be processed without sharing details Clients often verbalize traumatic content during reprocessing

Client Involvement Client actively chooses replacement images Client follows internal cues while therapist guides the process

Theoretical Framework Memory reconsolidation and somatic imagery Adaptive Information Processing model

Ideal Use Cases Single-event trauma, phobias, image-based distress Complex PTSD, attachment trauma, negative core beliefs

How These Therapies Work With the Nervous System

Trauma disrupts the autonomic nervous system, which governs your fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses. Both ART and EMDR use bilateral stimulation (e.g., guided eye movements) to help regulate arousal states and reintegrate fragmented memories.

However, ART often offers faster relief, especially for clients who feel flooded by their trauma stories or have difficulty verbalizing distress. By focusing on visual imagery and body cues, ART can quickly calm the sympathetic nervous system and signal safety to the brainstem.

EMDR may take more time, but its depth and adaptability make it especially effective for clients with complex trauma, developmental wounds, or negative core beliefs rooted in childhood.

According to Polyvagal Theory (Porges, 2011), when we process trauma in a contained, safe way, we shift out of sympathetic overactivation or dorsal shutdown and into the ventral vagal state, the state of connection, regulation, and healing.

A Somatic and Attachment-Informed Lens

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we believe trauma therapy isn’t just about changing thoughts or images; it’s about helping you feel safe in your body again. Whether you’re dealing with PTSD, emotional neglect, or relational wounds, trauma is stored not just in the brain but in muscle tension, breath patterns, heart rate, and even digestion (van der Kolk, 2014).

Both EMDR and ART can be enhanced by integrating somatic therapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and relational work. Our therapists are trained to help you notice what’s happening inside without judgment and gently titrate toward safety and connection.

Which One Is Right for You?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Choosing between ART and EMDR depends on your goals, trauma history, and nervous system needs. Some clients benefit from a few sessions of ART to stabilize symptoms before moving into EMDR for deeper work. Others find ART alone provides lasting relief, especially when integrated with body-based practices like Somatic Experiencing or trauma-informed yoga.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we’ll work with you to create a personalized trauma healing plan that honors your pace, your story, and your whole self—body, mind, and heart.

Common Questions

Can I do ART or EMDR online?

Yes. Both modalities can be adapted for virtual sessions using guided eye movements or tactile stimulation techniques.

What if I don’t want to talk about my trauma?

ART may be a better fit, as it requires minimal verbal sharing. EMDR may also be tailored to feel safe and empowering.

Do I need a diagnosis to start ART or EMDR?

Not at all. Many clients seek therapy due to symptoms like anxiety, hypervigilance, or emotional numbness; a diagnosis is not required to begin healing.

Retain Your Brain and Reshape Your Relationships

Whether you feel stuck in survival mode, disconnected from your body, or exhausted from constantly trying to "hold it all together," there is a path toward regulation, relief, and reconnection. Trauma therapies like EMDR and ART are grounded in neuroscience and compassion, helping you retrain your brain and reshape your relationships with others, and with yourself.

Want to Learn More?

If you’re curious about how trauma therapy can support your journey, reach out to schedule a free 20-minute consultation. Our team at Embodied Wellness and Recovery is here to provide support and guidance, gently, skillfully, and with respect for your body’s innate wisdom. Contact us today, and begin your journey toward embodied connection, clarity, and confidence.

📞 Call us at (310) 651-8458

📱 Text us at (310) 210-7934

📩 Email us at admin@embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

🔗 Visit us at www.embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

👉 Check us out on Instagram @embodied_wellness_and_recovery

References

1) Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.

2) Shapiro, F. (2018). Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy: Basic principles, protocols, and procedures (3rd ed.). Guilford Press. 

3) Van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Penguin Books.

Why Asking ‘Why Me?’ Can Be the First Step to Healing Trauma and Reclaiming Meaning

Wondering "Why me?" after trauma? Learn how this question can become a catalyst for healing, meaning-making, and deep nervous system repair.

Why Asking “Why Me?” Can Be the First Step to Healing Trauma and Reclaiming Meaning

Trauma has a way of shattering the stories we tell ourselves about the world, about safety, fairness, identity, and control. And in the aftermath, one of the most common and agonizing questions that arises is: “Why me?”

Maybe you’ve asked this in a quiet moment, tears streaming down your face. Perhaps you’ve screamed it into the void. Or maybe it’s lingered silently, under the surface of your day-to-day functioning, driving your anxiety, depression, or shame.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we’ve heard this question from countless clients, survivors of abuse, betrayal, chronic illness, accidents, abandonment, and more. And while the question may feel like a roadblock, it can actually be a profound doorway: a starting point for meaning-making, nervous system repair, and more profound healing than you ever thought possible.

Why “Why Me?” Hurts So Much

The question “Why me?” often arises from a place of shock, grief, or injustice. It's a cry from the part of us that still believes in a moral universe, where if we do good, we should receive good. So when trauma strikes, it’s not just painful; it feels disorienting, even existential.

This question becomes especially heavy when paired with:

    — Survivor’s guilt
    — Self-blame or shame
    — A history of repeated trauma
    — Unprocessed childhood attachment wounds

It’s natural to seek meaning after trauma. In fact, meaning-making is one of the key predictors of post-traumatic growth, a concept in trauma research that describes the possibility of becoming more resilient, self-aware, and connected after surviving adversity (Tedeschi & Calhoun, 2004).

But Neuroscience Tells Us This: Trauma Disconnects Before It Can Integrate

When a traumatic event occurs, the amygdala (the brain’s threat detection system) hijacks the nervous system. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for logic, language, and meaning, goes offline. This is why you might find yourself stuck in repetitive thoughts, emotional flooding, or dissociation.

Asking “Why me?” can feel like searching for answers in the fog. But that doesn’t mean the question is wrong; it means your nervous system needs support to process it. This is where somatic and trauma-informed approaches like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), Somatic Experiencing, and parts work come in. At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we help clients slow down, regulate, and return to the question from a place of curiosity rather than collapse.

When “Why Me?” Becomes a Catalyst for Healing

The transformation happens not by dismissing the question, but by expanding it:

     — What meaning am I attaching to this event?
    — What old wounds or beliefs has this trauma reactivated?
    — What needs to be grieved, acknowledged, or reclaimed?
    — How might I grow from this, not despite it, but because of how I tend to it?

This is the work of narrative integration, the process of transforming trauma into a story, chaos into coherence, and pain into purpose. According to Dr. Dan Siegel’s research on mindsight and narrative repair, this kind of integration strengthens brain functioning, self-awareness, and emotional regulation (Siegel, 2010).

Reclaiming Agency Through Meaning-Making

Here’s the shift: “Why me?” is no longer a question asked from powerlessness, but from self-inquiry.

Consider how trauma-informed therapy can help reframe and rewire:

Old Thought New Perspective Through Healing

Why did this happen to me? What is this pain inviting me to learn or unlearn?

I must have done something wrong. No one deserves to be hurt; this wasn’t my fault.

I’ll never be the same. I’ve changed, but I get to decide what that means.

In EMDR, for example, clients reprocess not only memories but also the core beliefs that accompany them. These might include “I’m unsafe,” “I’m broken,” or “I’m unlovable.” Through bilateral stimulation and targeted memory work, these beliefs are replaced with adaptive truths, like “I survived,” “I’m resilient,” and “I can trust myself again.”

From Suffering to Sacred Inquiry

In many spiritual and philosophical traditions, the question “Why me?” is not viewed as futile but as sacred. It’s the human impulse to understand, to connect, to assign value to our pain. In this way, the question itself is an act of resilience.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we invite clients to explore not only the psychological but also the spiritual dimensions of trauma recovery. This includes:

     — Rebuilding a sense of trust in self, others, or the universe
    — Exploring existential beliefs that were fractured by trauma
    — Engaging in practices of self-compassion, embodiment, and ritual

These elements can be deeply grounding for survivors who feel emotionally fragmented or disconnected from a larger sense of purpose.

How We Help Clients Turn “Why Me?” Into “What Now?”

Our trauma-informed, somatic, and neuroscience-based approach includes:

1. EMDR Therapy

To reprocess the stuck memories and beliefs that keep the nervous system in survival mode.

2. Somatic Therapy

To bring the body into the healing process through grounding, movement, and interoception, helping clients feel safe and present again.

3. Parts Work/Internal Family Systems (IFS)

To build inner relationships with the wounded parts that carry the shame, fear, and grief associated with trauma.

4. Narrative and Meaning-Making Therapy

To support the integration of trauma into a coherent, empowered personal story.

What If the Question Isn’t the Problem?

What if “Why me?” is not something to silence or escape but something to stay with, gently, until the nervous system is ready to metabolize the pain?

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we don’t rush this process. We walk with you through it. Our team specializes in trauma, mental health, relationships, sexuality, and intimacy because we know trauma touches every layer of who we are. You don’t have to erase the question. You get to rewrite the story in which it resides.  Reach out to schedule a free 20-minute consultation with our team of top-rated therapists and take the next step toward a regulated nervous system today.

📞 Call us at (310) 651-8458

📱 Text us at (310) 210-7934

📩 Email us at admin@embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

🔗 Visit us at www.embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

👉 Check us out on Instagram @embodied_wellness_and_recovery

🌍 Explore our offerings at Linktr.ee: https://linktr.ee/laurendummit

References

Siegel, D. J. (2010). The Mindful Therapist: A Clinician's Guide to Mindsight and Neural Integration. W. W. Norton & Company.

Tedeschi, R. G., & Calhoun, L. G. (2004). Posttraumatic Growth: Conceptual Foundations and Empirical Evidence. Psychological Inquiry, 15(1), 1–18. https://doi.org/10.1207/s15327965pli1501_01

Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.

Stuck in Shame: Understanding Dorsal Vagal Shutdown and How to Regain Your Vitality

Shame can trigger a freeze response or dorsal vagal shutdown, leaving you numb, hopeless, or unable to move forward. Learn the neuroscience behind this trauma response and how somatic therapy, EMDR, and compassionate care at Embodied Wellness and Recovery help restore emotional regulation, vitality, and connection.

Stuck in Shame: Understanding Dorsal Vagal Shutdown and How to Regain Your Vitality

Have you ever made a mistake so painful or experienced a moment so humiliating that you shut down emotionally or even physically? Maybe your mind went blank. Perhaps your body felt heavy, sluggish, or distant. You couldn’t think clearly. Couldn’t speak up. Couldn’t feel much of anything. Just frozen in place.

This isn't a personality flaw or weakness. It's your nervous system doing its best to protect you. But when shame becomes chronic, it can trap you in a state known as dorsal vagal shutdown, a form of physiological immobility that leaves many people feeling helpless, numb, and stuck.

If you’ve ever wondered, “Why can’t I move forward after what I did?” or “Why do I feel so checked out, even though I want to feel better? Your experience is deeply human, and your nervous system is responding exactly as it was designed to. At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we specialize in helping individuals understand the neurobiology of shame, reconnect with their sense of agency, and regain a state of connection, vitality, and self-compassion.

What Is Dorsal Vagal Shutdown?

The dorsal vagal state is one branch of the autonomic nervous system, specifically governed by the vagus nerve. According to Polyvagal Theory (Porges, 2011), this state is associated with immobilization, which many people experience as freezing, numbing out, collapsing, or dissociating.

Unlike the fight-or-flight response (activated by the sympathetic nervous system), the dorsal vagal response is the body’s ancient survival strategy when neither fighting nor fleeing is possible. Think of a possum playing dead. It's a last-resort mechanism to preserve life in the face of overwhelming threat. In humans, it can feel like profound fatigue, withdrawal, foggy thinking, or emotional deadness.

Shame is one of the most common emotional triggers for dorsal vagal shutdown. It’s not just a feeling; it’s a physiological state.

How Shame Triggers the Freeze Response

Shame arises when we feel deeply flawed, unworthy of love or belonging, especially after violating our own values or being humiliated by others. When shame hits the nervous system hard, the body may automatically go into a state of shutdown to protect against the unbearable emotional pain.

This is especially common for people with trauma histories, developmental neglect, or chronic invalidation. If you’ve ever made a regrettable decision, cheated on a partner, relapsed after years of sobriety, hurt someone you love, and found yourself spiraling into self-loathing, this is your nervous system trying to contain a flood of emotional overwhelm.

The tragic irony? The more shame takes over, the more we lose access to the very capacities that could help us repair: our ability to think clearly, speak up, ask for help, or feel connected to others.

Signs You're in a Dorsal Vagal Shutdown

     — Feeling numb or emotionally flat
    — Difficulty speaking, moving, or making decisions

     — Overwhelming tiredness or heaviness in the body
     — Loss of interest in relationships or activities
     — Shame-based thoughts like “I’m a failure” or “I don’t deserve to feel better”
     — Detachment from your own body or surroundings (dissociation)
     — Feeling invisible, voiceless, or like giving up

This state can look like depression on the surface, but it’s often a trauma response stored in the body.

How to Shift Out of a Freeze Response: A Neuroscience-Informed Approach

The good news: the nervous system is capable of neuroplasticity. With the right support, it can learn to shift states from shutdown back into safe connection. But it’s not about forcing yourself to “snap out of it.” It’s about gently co-regulating with safety, compassion, and presence.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, our trauma-informed therapists use modalities like Somatic Experiencing, Attachment-Focused EMDR, and Polyvagal-Informed Therapy to help clients learn how to recognize, tolerate, and gradually shift out of dorsal vagal states.

Here are some neuroscience-backed strategies that help restore functioning:

1. Start with Sensory Grounding, Not Cognitive Processing

When you're in a freeze state, your prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for insight and logic, isn’t online. Instead of trying to “think your way out,” start by reconnecting to sensation.

Try:

     — Holding something cold or textured
    — Splashing cool water on your face
    — Pressing your feet into the floor
    — Naming five things you see, four you hear, three you touch…

These somatic cues help signal to the nervous system that it’s safe to return to the present.

2. Name the State Without Judgment

Say to yourself:

“My body is in a dorsal vagal state. This is my nervous system protecting me. I am safe now.”

Naming the physiological state without self-judgment helps reduce shame and builds interoceptive awareness, the ability to recognize internal bodily cues. This is a critical skill in trauma recovery (Price & Hooven, 2018).

3. Co-Regulate with Safe Connection

Connection with another safe human, or even an animal, can be a powerful way to bring your nervous system back online.

Try:

     — Sitting with a therapist or loved one who can hold space without judgment
    — Petting a dog or cat
    — Listening to soothing, relational voices (like an audiobook or guided meditation)

Humans are wired for connection. We heal in the presence of attuned, non-shaming others.

4. Use Movement to Mobilize the Nervous System

Once you feel safe enough, gentle movement can help your body transition from a state of immobilization to one of activation. This could be:

     — Rocking back and forth
    — Rolling your shoulders
    — Walking slowly outdoors
    — Doing yoga or tai chi

The goal is not to “exercise your way out” of shame; it’s to help the body remember what it feels like to move and be alive again.

5. Work with a Trauma-Informed Therapist

Recovery from shame-based shutdown is not a solo journey. A skilled therapist can help you safely access and process the origins of your shame, reconnect with your core self, and create new internal experiences of worthiness and vitality.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we specialize in:

     — Attachment-Focused EMDR to process traumatic memories
    — Somatic Resourcing to restore safety in the body
     — Parts Work (like Internal Family Systems) to build compassion for the wounded aspects of yourself
     — Sex and intimacy therapy to repair relational wounds that often carry hidden shame

Why This Matters: Shame and the Loss of Self

When left unaddressed, chronic shame doesn’t just impact your mood; it affects your relationships, your career, your sexuality, your ability to receive love, and your sense of purpose.

In the dorsal vagal state, life feels grey. It’s hard to imagine change. But just like a body can thaw from cold, the nervous system can come back to life.

Your vitality is not gone; it’s just waiting beneath the surface, covered by layers of shame, fear, and protective shutdown. With care, it can be uncovered.

From Shutdown to Self-Compassion

What you did or experienced may feel unforgivable, but you are not unforgivable. The truth is, shame often stems not only from our mistakes, but also from how we were taught to perceive ourselves when we make them.

By understanding the neurobiology of shame and learning how to regulate your nervous system, you can transition from immobilization to engagement, from self-loathing to self-compassion, and from disconnection to reconnection with yourself and others.

If you’re feeling stuck, Embodied Wellness and Recovery offers integrative, trauma-informed care to help you rediscover your voice, your aliveness, and your capacity to love and be loved again.

Contact us today to schedule a free 20-minute consultation with our team of top-rated somatic practitioners, trauma specialists, or relationship experts, and begin your journey toward embodied connection, clarity, and confidence.

📞 Call us at (310) 651-8458

📱 Text us at (310) 210-7934

📩 Email us at admin@embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

🔗 Visit us at www.embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

👉 Check us out on Instagram @embodied_wellness_and_recovery

🌍 Explore our offerings at Linktr.ee: https://linktr.ee/laurendummi

References:
 — Dana, D. (2018). The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation. W.W. Norton & Company.

  — Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. W.W. Norton & Company.
  — Price, C. J., & Hooven, C. (2018). Interoceptive Awareness Skills for Emotion Regulation: Theory and Approach of Mindful Awareness in Body-Oriented Therapy (MABT). Frontiers in Psychology, 9, 798. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00798

Standard EMDR vs. Attachment-Focused EMDR: Which Is Right for You?

Curious about the difference between traditional EMDR and Attachment-Focused EMDR? Learn how a more relational, somatic approach can support healing from complex trauma and early attachment wounds.

Not All EMDR Is the Same

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a powerful, evidence-based treatment for trauma. But what many people don’t know is that EMDR comes in different forms.

While standard EMDR is highly effective for single-incident traumas, those with complex trauma, developmental wounds, or relational issues often benefit more from Attachment-Focused EMDR (AF-EMDR)—a more flexible, intuitive, and relational approach.

What Is Standard EMDR?

Standard EMDR follows an 8-phase protocol developed by Francine Shapiro. It’s structured, manualized, and research-driven.

Best for:

     – Single-incident trauma (e.g., accidents, assaults)
    – Phobias or panic attacks
    – Grief and loss

Key features:

     – The therapist is more neutral and directive
    – Sessions focus on identifying and reprocessing traumatic memories
    – Best for clients who are emotionally stable and securely attached

This method works beautifully for many, but not all.

What Is Attachment-Focused EMDR?

Created by Dr. Laurel Parnell, Attachment-Focused EMDR modifies the standard model to support clients with early attachment trauma, emotional neglect, dissociation, or complex PTSD.

Best for:

     – Childhood emotional abuse or neglect
    – Developmental trauma

     – Disorganized or insecure attachment
    – Complex PTSD and dissociative symptoms

Key differences:

     – The therapist is actively emotionally present
     – Uses nurturing, protective, and wise figures to build internal safety
    – Incorporates somatic resources to regulate the nervous system
    – Adapts the pacing to each client’s tolerance and readiness
    – Emphasizes relational repair as a core part of healing

In short, AF-EMDR makes space for the therapeutic relationship to become a healing agent.

Why It Matters for Complex Trauma

If you’ve experienced:

     – Childhood abandonment
    – Emotional invalidation

     – Ongoing relational wounding

... then you may have learned to survive through disconnection—from your body, your feelings, and other people.

In these cases, trauma healing requires more than a protocol. It requires connection, attunement, and co-regulation—all of which are central to Attachment-Focused EMDR.

What the Science Says

Attachment-focused EMDR is grounded in interpersonal neurobiology and polyvagal theory. Research shows:

Healing happens through relationships that are safe, attuned, and emotionally present—not just intellectual insight or mechanical techniques.

When a therapist offers right-brain-to-right-brain attunement (Schore, 2009), the client’s brain begins to rewire itself for connection, trust, and safety. That’s what makes this approach so powerful.

Which Is Right for You?

If you’re relatively stable and looking to process a single, distressing event, standard EMDR may be a perfect fit.

But if you’ve experienced years of relational or developmental trauma, or you’ve struggled with feeling disconnected, misunderstood, or overwhelmed in other therapies, Attachment-Focused EMDR may be the deeper, safer path to healing.

How We Do It at Embodied Wellness & Recovery

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we specialize in:

     – Attachment-Focused EMDR
    – Somatic trauma therapy
    – Integrative healing approaches for trauma, addiction, and intimacy issues
    – EMDR intensives for those ready to go deeper in a shorter amount of time

Whether you’re located in Los Angeles or Nashville or seeking virtual support, our team of trauma-informed clinicians will meet you with compassion, skill, and respect for your unique healing journey.

You don’t have to heal alone. We’re here to walk with you, to be your “empathetic witness.”

🪷 Learn more about our EMDR services
📅 Schedule a free 20-minute consultation with one of our top-rate EMDR providers
🌱 Explore our EMDR Intensives and Specialty Programs that Incorporate EMDR
📍 Serving Los Angeles, Nashville, and clients nationwide (via telehealth)

📞 Call us at (310) 651-8458

📱 Text us at (310) 210-7934

📩 Email us at admin@embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

🔗 Visit us at www.embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

👉 Check us out on Instagram @embodied_wellness_and_recovery

🌍 Explore our offerings at Linktr.ee: https://linktr.ee/laurendummit

References

Parnell, L. (2013). Attachment-focused EMDR: Healing Relational Trauma. W. W. Norton & Company.

Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.

Schore, A. N. (2009). Right-brain Affect Regulation: An Essential Mechanism of Development, Trauma, Dissociation, and Psychotherapy. The Neuropsychotherapist, 1(3), 1–13.

Shapiro, F. (2017). Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy: Basic Principles, Protocols, and Procedures (3rd ed.). The Guilford Press.

Siegel, D. J. (2012). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are (2nd ed.). The Guilford Press.