Anxiety in the Body: How to Release Nervous System Energy Before You Can Truly Relax

Discover why extreme anxiety makes it so difficult to calm down and meditate. Learn how up-regulating practices like movement and sound discharge nervous system energy, making space for soothing practices such as breathwork, yoga, and meditation to restore balance.

Why Can’t I Just Calm Down?

When anxiety takes hold, it can feel impossible to settle. You may sit down to meditate, breathe deeply, or practice yoga, only to find your body is buzzing, your thoughts are racing, and your restlessness only grows. Instead of feeling calmer, you feel trapped inside a storm of activation.

Do you ever wonder: Why can’t I just relax? Why does my body feel hijacked by anxiety no matter how hard I try?

The truth is that anxiety is not only in the mind. It is a full-body experience, a surge of energy in the nervous system that needs an outlet before true calm can arrive. Understanding this process through the lens of neuroscience and somatic regulation is the key to learning how to soothe anxiety effectively.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we help clients recognize what state their nervous system is in and respond with practices that truly fit the moment. By aligning body, mind, and relationship, we guide people toward lasting nervous system repair and emotional resilience.

The Neuroscience of Anxiety: When the Sympathetic Nervous System Takes Over

Anxiety is the body’s way of preparing for threat. When your nervous system senses danger, whether real or perceived, the sympathetic branch activates:

     — The amygdala (the brain’s alarm system) signals danger
    — Stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline flood your system
    — Heart rate increases, muscles tense, breath quickens

This “fight or flight” response is adaptive if you need to act quickly, but when it is triggered chronically, your body becomes flooded with activation and has nowhere to release it. That’s why sitting still and forcing calm rarely works. Your body isn’t ready for down-regulation yet.

Why Traditional Relaxation Can Backfire

Have you ever tried to meditate while your heart is racing? Or practice deep breathing while your body feels restless and shaky? Instead of feeling soothed, you may end up more agitated.

This happens because:

     — Suppression doesn’t work. Forcing stillness ignores the body’s need to release activation.
    — Energy needs an outlet. Without release, the nervous system stays stuck in sympathetic arousal.
    — Relaxation feels unsafe. When your body is still flooded with adrenaline, slowing down can actually feel threatening rather than soothing.

The key is not to force calm but to complete the cycle, allowing the body to discharge the activation first.

The Pressure Valve: Up-Regulation Before Down-Regulation

Think of your body like a pressure cooker. Anxiety is the steam building up inside. If you try to clamp the lid down tighter with meditation or stillness, the pressure only increases. But if you open the valve—giving the energy a way out—the nervous system can reset.

Up-Regulating Practices: Releasing Energy

Before moving into calming practices, the body often needs movement or sound to discharge activation. Examples include:

     — Shaking out your limbs
     — Dancing to rhythmic music
    — Going for a brisk run or walk
    — Humming, chanting, or singing
     — Vigorous breathwork (e.g., Breath of Fire)

These practices provide the nervous system with a release, helping reduce the “buzz” of sympathetic arousal.

Down-Regulating Practices: Restoring Calm

Once the energy has moved through, your body is ready to enter a state of restoration. Now, soothing practices can take effect:

     — Slow, diaphragmatic breathing
     — Gentle guided meditation or visualization
     — Yin or restorative yoga
    — Progressive muscle relaxation
    — Soft humming or lengthened exhalations

Instead of trying to force calm on a nervous system still flooded with energy, these practices now land deeply, helping the body shift into the parasympathetic “rest and digest” state.

The Key Is Discernment

The most important skill in regulating anxiety is discernment, noticing what state your nervous system is in and responding accordingly. Ask yourself:

      — Am I feeling restless, buzzing, or trapped with energy?
➡️ Then I likely need up-regulation and movement.
      — Am I feeling depleted, exhausted, or flat?
➡️ Then I may benefit more from down-regulation and soothing.

By tuning in to these signals, you learn to respond with what your body truly needs, rather than forcing practices that don’t align with your current state.

Questions to Consider

     — What happens in your body when anxiety peaks: racing heart, shallow breath, restlessness?
    — Do you notice trying to force calm when your body is still in overdrive?
    — What up-regulating practices have you tried that help release energy before you settle?

Nervous System Repair at Embodied Wellness and Recovery

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery,  we see anxiety not as a flaw but as a full-body survival response. Our work integrates:

     — Trauma-informed therapy to uncover root triggers
    — Somatic practices to release stored activation
    — EMDR and neuroscience-backed approaches to rewire stress responses
    — Relational repair to restore intimacy and trust in connection

By combining these methods, we guide clients from a place of anxious overdrive toward nervous system balance, resilience, and authentic presence.

From Stuck to Balanced

Anxiety is not simply a mental battle; it is a physiological experience of the nervous system. When energy is stuck, the body cannot simply be forced into calm. By learning to first release activation through up-regulating practices and then soothing with down-regulating ones, you can guide your nervous system back to equilibrium.

The next time anxiety surges, instead of asking yourself, How can I suppress this? But instead, what outlet does my body need right now? This shift can transform anxiety from an endless loop into an opportunity for nervous system repair and a deeper connection to yourself.

Contact us today to schedule a free 20-minute consultation with our team of somatic practitioners, trauma specialists,  and relationship experts and begin your journey toward embodied connection, clarity, and confidence. 

📞 Call us at (310) 651-8458

📱 Text us at (310) 210-7934

📩 Email us at admin@embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

🔗 Visit us at www.embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

👉 Check us out on Instagram @embodied_wellness_and_recovery

🌍 Explore our offerings at Linktr. ee: https://linktr.ee/laurendummit

References

Eisenberger, N. I., & Cole, S. W. (2012). Social Neuroscience and Health: Neurophysiological Mechanisms Linking Social Ties to Physical Health. Nature Neuroscience, 15(5), 669–674. 

LeDoux, J. (2015). Anxious: Using the brain to understand and treat fear and anxiety. Viking.

Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.

Intimacy with Fear: How Facing Anxiety Opens the Door to Presence and Transformation

Discover how intimacy with fear transforms anxiety into presence. Learn why the nervous system reacts with panic, how “shenpa” hooks us, and how facing fear can lead to growth, clarity, and emotional resilience.

When Fear Feels Like It’s Running the Show

Do you ever feel hijacked by fear? Maybe your chest tightens before you get the medical results you’ve been waiting for. Or your heart races when you imagine what might go wrong in your relationship, your career, or your health. Fear arrives uninvited, and suddenly, you are trapped in spirals of what-ifs.

Most of us try to avoid fear at all costs, distracting ourselves, numbing the feeling, or chasing control. But what if fear isn’t an enemy to run from, but a doorway to more profound truth? What if leaning in, rather than escaping, could unlock resilience, clarity, and even intimacy with yourself?

This approach, drawn from Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön’s teaching on shenpa, the hook that triggers our habitual reactions, finds strong resonance in modern neuroscience. At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we integrate these insights with trauma-informed therapy and nervous system repair, helping clients turn toward fear with compassion instead of panic.

The Hook of Fear: What Is Shenpa?

Shenpa, a Tibetan term, describes that sticky moment when fear grabs us. It might look like:

     — Your stomach drops when you read a text you weren’t expecting.
     — Your mind replays a worst-case scenario until it becomes all you can see.
    — You feel compelled to grasp for certainty, reassurance, or control.

Shenpa is the hook, the trigger that sets the cycle of anxiety in motion. Once hooked, the nervous system launches into hyperarousal: the amygdala fires, cortisol floods the body, and the prefrontal cortex (the part that helps us reflect and choose wisely) goes offline. Neuroscience confirms what contemplative traditions have long taught: fear narrows perception and drives automatic, survival-based reactions (LeDoux, 2015).

Why Escaping Fear Doesn’t Work

Most of us instinctively try to escape fear. We:

     — Seek reassurance repeatedly.
     — Avoid situations that feel uncertain.
    — Try to predict or control every possible outcome.
     — Numb ourselves through food, alcohol, or endless scrolling.

These strategies may offer temporary relief but reinforce the fear cycle. Every time we avoid or fight against fear, the brain learns that fear is intolerable. This amplifies anxiety, making the nervous system more sensitized over time (Craske et al., 2014).

So the question becomes: What would happen if, instead of running, we learned to stay?

Intimacy with Fear: A Radical Shift

“Intimacy with fear” means developing the capacity to be present with fear rather than consumed by it. It is about noticing the physical sensations, the tight chest, the shallow breath, the racing thoughts, without immediately trying to escape.

When we pause at the moment of being hooked, we create space. This space is not about eliminating fear but transforming our relationship with it. We begin to see fear not as a final verdict but as an invitation to deeper self-awareness.

The Neuroscience of Facing Fear

From a neurobiological perspective, intimacy with fear calms the threat detection system and strengthens resilience:

     — Amygdala Regulation: Staying present with fear reduces amygdala hyperactivity, lowering the body’s alarm signals.
      — Prefrontal Cortex Engagement: Naming and observing fear reactivates executive function, allowing for reflection and choice.
    — Vagus Nerve Activation: Slow, conscious breathing in the face of fear stimulates the vagus nerve, shifting the nervous system toward parasympathetic regulation and safety (Porges, 2011).

By choosing presence, the nervous system rewires itself. Fear becomes less of an enemy and more of a guide toward growth and clarity.

Practical Tools for Intimacy with Fear

Here are strategies we often use with clients at Embodied Wellness and Recovery:

1. Pause and Name It

The moment you feel hooked, pause. Silently name: “This is fear.” Naming emotions engages the prefrontal cortex and helps reduce reactivity.

2. Anchor in the Body

Notice where fear shows up physically: a tight jaw, a fluttering stomach, or clenched fists. Place your hand there, breathe, and soften into awareness.

3. Practice Somatic Grounding

Try grounding exercises like pressing your feet into the floor, orienting to the room, or lengthening your exhale. These practices signal safety to the nervous system.

4. Reflect on the Story Beneath the Fear

Ask yourself: What am I believing right now? Is it fact, or is it fear projecting into the future?

5. Compassion Practice

Offer kindness to yourself. Imagine speaking to your fear as you would to a child: “I see you. I know you’re scared. I’m here with you.”

Questions to Explore

     — What fears about the future tend to hook you the most?
    — When you feel fear rising, what automatic strategies do you use to escape it?
     — How might your life shift if you could face fear with curiosity instead of panic?

From Anxiety to Presence

Facing fear is not about erasing it but transforming it into presence. Fear, when welcomed with awareness, becomes a teacher. It reveals where we are most vulnerable and where we long for growth.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we specialize in guiding clients through this process with trauma-informed therapy, EMDR, and somatic practices that help the nervous system regulate. By turning toward fear, clients discover that the moment of panic can also be the moment of awakening, a doorway into resilience, clarity, and authentic connection.

Developing Intimacy with Fear

Fear often feels like a wall, but when we develop intimacy with it, the wall becomes a doorway. The next time fear hooks you, consider pausing, taking a deep breath, and leaning in. There, in the heart of fear, you may find not just anxiety but a more profound truth waiting to be uncovered.

Reach out to schedule a free 20-minute consultation with our team of therapists, coaches, or somatic practitioners and begin the process of developing intimacy with fear today.

📞 Call us at (310) 651-8458

📱 Text us at (310) 210-7934

📩 Email us at admin@embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

🔗 Visit us at www.embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

👉 Check us out on Instagram @embodied_wellness_and_recovery

🌍 Explore our offerings at Linktr.ee: https://linktr.ee/laurendummit

References

Craske, M. G., Treanor, M., Conway, C. C., Zbozinek, T., & Vervliet, B. (2014). Maximizing exposure therapy: An inhibitory learning approach. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 58, 10-23. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2014.04.006

LeDoux, J. (2015). Anxious: Using the brain to understand and treat fear and anxiety. Viking.

Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.