Healing from Love Addiction: How Somatic Therapy Helps You Reconnect with Yourself

Struggling with the emotional highs and lows of love addiction? Discover how somatic therapy can help regulate your nervous system, ease love addiction withdrawal, and reconnect you with your sense of self.

Caught in the Storm of Love Addiction?

Do you feel like you're losing yourself in the obsession over someone else? Are you stuck in a cycle of intense longing, euphoric highs, and devastating lows that leave you emotionally drained and disconnected from your core Self?

Many people find themselves in the grip of love addiction, experiencing an overwhelming attachment to a romantic interest that feels all-consuming and uncontrollable. Initially, the emotional rollercoaster may feel intoxicating, but at times it can feel torturous, especially during love addiction withdrawal or the obsessive despair of limerence.

Fortunately, many people struggling with love addiction or relational obsession have found lasting healing, transforming not just their relationship patterns, but their entire lives. While the process isn’t easy, it invites a deep kind of courage—the kind that grows as we learn to stay with what’s uncomfortable and trust that growth is happening beneath the surface.

Each of us carries wounds, and until we have the courage to gently turn toward them, to acknowledge their presence, and offer them compassion, the inner peace we seek will continue to evade us. We will never get to know our authentic selves, the people we are meant to be. The path to healing is not always linear. Yet it’s through this brave, ongoing process of nurturing our tender places that we discover who we truly are and what ultimately gives our lives richness and meaning.

Somatic therapy can be profoundly helpful, allowing you to release the trauma responses stored in your body, develop tools to regulate your nervous system so that you can increase your window of tolerance and build resilience, connect with your body and emotions in a way that feels safe and supportive, so that you can live with more embodiment, awareness, and freedom.

What Is Love Addiction?

Love addiction is not simply being in love too much. It's a compulsive pattern of attaching to another person in a way that mirrors the brain’s response to substance addiction. Individuals with love addiction often:

     – Obsessively think about a partner or romantic interest

     – Idealize the person while ignoring red flags

     – Feel extreme anxiety or emptiness when not in contact

     – Sacrifice personal boundaries and self-worth to maintain the connection

Love addiction is often driven by early attachment wounds, unresolved trauma, and nervous system dysregulation that compel us to seek external validation or intensity to feel temporarily whole.

The Neuroscience Behind Love Addiction

Neuroscience shows us that romantic obsession and addiction share common brain pathways:

     – Dopamine, the brain’s “reward” chemical, floods our system during infatuation and attachment, creating a sense of euphoria.

     – The limbic system, which governs emotion and memory, lights up in ways nearly identical to drug addiction.

     – Withdrawal from the person can trigger stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, leading to panic, anxiety, depression, and even physical symptoms.

When the attachment system is activated, especially in those with trauma or inconsistent early caregiving, the brain interprets separation not just as emotional loss but as a survival threat.

What Is Limerence?

Limerence is the obsessive, involuntary state of intense infatuation and emotional dependence that often accompanies love addiction. It involves:

     – Idealizing the person

     – Fantasizing about the relationship

     – Craving reciprocation to soothe internal anxiety

This state hijacks the nervous system and can make it feel impossible to let go, even when the relationship is unhealthy or unavailable.

Why Is It So Hard to Let Go?

When your nervous system has been conditioned to associate intensity with love, safety can feel boring or even threatening. This is especially true for individuals with trauma, codependency, or personality disorders such as borderline personality disorder or anxious-preoccupied attachment.

You might ask yourself:

     – Why do I feel so empty without this person?

     – Why do I keep going back even when I know it's not good for me?

     – Why does love feel like a drug I can’t quit?

What may seem purely psychological is often deeply rooted in the nervous system.

How Somatic Therapy Supports Recovery from Love Addiction

Somatic therapy addresses the body’s role in trauma and emotional attachment, helping you rewire your nervous system so you can access safety, connection, and self-trust without emotional chaos.

1. Regulating the Nervous System

Somatic practices, such as grounding, orienting, and resourcing, help bring the body out of fight-or-flight and into a more regulated state. This is crucial when experiencing withdrawal from an obsessive attachment.

2. Releasing Trauma Held in the Body

Using methods like Somatic Experiencing or Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, the body is supported in discharging the stored energy of old relational wounds, so your system no longer confuses chaos with connection.

3. Building a Felt Sense of Safety and Self

Somatic therapy helps you develop interoception (awareness of internal sensations), which builds the capacity to feel safe inside your own body, even without the presence of the person you’ve fixated on.

4. Repairing Attachment Wounds

Through attuned therapeutic relationships, you can begin to repair internal models of love, connection, and worthiness. When your body learns that it can survive, even thrive, without unhealthy attachment, true healing begins.

What Does Healing Look Like?

Healing from love addiction isn’t about becoming invulnerable to love. It’s about creating boundaries, emotional regulation, and secure attachment—so you can love freely without losing yourself.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we help individuals:

     – Move through love addiction withdrawal with compassion and skill

     – Use somatic tools to calm obsessive thinking and anxiety

     – Reconnect with their core values, goals, and sense of identity

     – Rewire patterns rooted in trauma and attachment wounding

     – Build relationships based on mutual respect, intimacy, and authenticity

We integrate EMDR, IFS (parts work), trauma-informed coaching, and psychoeducation to support a holistic recovery process rooted in both neuroscience and heart-centered care.

You Are Worth Reconnection

Love addiction can make you feel like your survival depends on someone else's attention, but it doesn’t. Your body holds the map back to wholeness, clarity, and connection, and somatic therapy can help you follow it.

You don’t have to remain stuck in the painful cycle of longing, obsession, and abandonment. Your system can learn to settle, and you can feel safe in yourself again.
With time and self-compassion, the body can relearn how to feel steady, connected, and whole, allowing you to experience authentic intimacy and nourishing love, starting with yourself.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we specialize in helping you reconnect with your body, your boundaries, and your truth. Reach out today to schedule a free 20-minute consultation with our team of top-rated relationship and addiction experts, trauma specialists, and Certified Sex Addiction Specialists. 

📞 Call us at (310) 651-8458

📱 Text us at (310) 210-7934

📩 Email us at admin@embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

🔗 Visit us at www.embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

👉 Check us out on Instagram @embodied_wellness_and_recovery

🌍 Explore our offerings at Linktr.ee: https://linktr.ee/laurendummit

🧠 References:

Fisher, H. E., Aron, A., & Brown, L. L. (2006). Romantic Love: A Mammalian Brain System for Mate Choice. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 361(1476), 2173–2186. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2006.1938

Levine, A., & Heller, R. S. (2010). Attached: The New s=Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love. TarcherPerigee.

Van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.

Fiscal Attraction: Why Money, Safety, and Romance Are More Connected Than You Think

Are you drawn to partners who are financially stable or generous? Learn how “fiscal attraction” bridges financial compatibility and romantic chemistry—and why it’s not superficial. Discover how your nervous system and attachment history influence your romantic preferences and how therapy can help.

Fiscal Attraction: Where Financial Compatibility Meets Romantic Chemistry

Have you ever found yourself unexpectedly drawn to someone—not because of their looks or charm, but because of how they manage money? Maybe it’s their stability, their generosity, or the calm confidence they exude when talking about future plans. You’re not shallow, and you’re not alone. This is fiscal attraction—a real, meaningful dimension of relationship compatibility that blends financial health with emotional intimacy.

What Is Fiscal Attraction?

Fiscal attraction = financial compatibility + romantic chemistry.

It’s the magnetic pull toward someone whose relationship with money enhances your sense of emotional and physical safety.

Contrary to outdated stereotypes about “gold diggers” or opportunism, fiscal attraction is about the desire for shared values, mutual support, and a stable future. And for many, it’s deeply tied to attachment needs, trauma histories, and nervous system regulation.

Why Fiscal Attraction Matters (More Than You Might Think)

When we’re attracted to someone who is financially stable, generous, or aligned with our financial values, what we’re often really seeking is safety.

🧠 According to neuroscience, safety is the foundation of love and connection. Our nervous systems are wired to seek secure bonds. Money—especially in adulthood—becomes a symbolic and practical stand-in for the security many of us longed for as children.

If you grew up with:

     – Financial instability
    – Parents who fought about money
    – Scarcity or unpredictability in the home

… then it’s no surprise that fiscal attraction is alive in your dating life. It’s not about greed—it’s about survival and the regulation of the nervous system.

The Neuroscience of Safety and Attraction

Research shows that emotional and financial safety are processed similarly in the brain. When we feel financially threatened—whether by a surprise bill or a partner with reckless spending habits—our amygdala (the brain’s fear center) activates. Cortisol, the stress hormone, floods the body. In contrast, the prefrontal cortex, responsible for logical decision-making, goes offline.

When we feel financially secure with a partner, our ventral vagal complex (the part of the autonomic nervous system responsible for connection and calm) lights up. This allows us to relax, connect, and even experience desire.

So if you find yourself swiping left on someone who seems charming but chaotic with money—or swooning over someone who builds savings and pays off their debt—it’s not just preference. It’s biology.

Real Life Stories of Fiscal Attraction

💬 “I didn’t think he was my type at first, but the way he handles his finances? Total fiscal attraction. He saves, gives to charity, and talks about our future with such grounded clarity. I didn’t know how much my nervous system needed that.”

💬 “After growing up in a household where the electricity got shut off and eviction notices were a regular occurrence, I now realize I’m only attracted to people who are financially consistent. It’s not superficial. It’s self-protection.”

These stories highlight what many people are only beginning to name: we’re drawn to partners who make us feel safe to exhale.

Painful Truths: When You’re Single and Stuck in Survival Mode

If you’re single and financially struggling, it may feel like dating is a luxury you can’t afford—emotionally or otherwise. The idea of building a relationship while living paycheck to paycheck can feel disorienting or even hopeless.

Do you ever think:

     – “I feel like everyone else has someone supporting them… why am I doing this alone?”
    – “I’m stuck in survival mode. How can I even think about love right now?”
    – “I’m scared to date because I don’t want to be a burden.”

These thoughts are valid—and deeply painful. At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we understand how attachment trauma and financial stress intersect. You deserve love that feels secure, not anxiety-inducing. And it is possible to regulate your nervous system enough to feel worthy of both financial and emotional intimacy.

Therapy Can Help You Explore Fiscal Attraction Without Shame

Many clients come to therapy saying things like:

     – “I feel guilty that I want a partner who’s financially stable.”
    – “I worry that my attraction is ‘shallow’ if I care about someone’s income.”
    – “I always end up with people who are emotionally and financially unavailable.”

Through somatic therapy, EMDR, and attachment-based work, we can uncover:

     – How your nervous system responds to financial security or instability
    – Your earliest experiences of money, caregiving, and emotional regulation
    – How to develop a secure attachment to yourself, so you don’t settle for financial or emotional chaos

What Fiscal Compatibility Looks Like in Healthy Relationships

Fiscal compatibility doesn’t mean you both make the same amount. It means you:

     – Communicate openly about financial goals and fears
    – Share core values around saving, spending, or giving
    – Respect each other’s money stories and triggers
    – Build a sense of shared future and mutual responsibility

It’s less about how much and more about how aligned you feel.

Questions to Reflect On:

     – Do I feel safer or more anxious when I think about my partner’s (or potential partner’s) finances?
    – What did I learn about money growing up—and how might that shape who I’m attracted to?
    – Am I attracted to chaos because it feels familiar? Or do I long for stability because it’s what I never had?

Hope for the Future: You Are Not Alone in Wanting Stability and Connection

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we help individuals and couples navigate the complex intersections of trauma, intimacy, and finances. Whether you’re single and healing from scarcity or in a relationship where money is a source of conflict, there is a path to clarity, coherence, and connection.

You deserve a love that doesn’t just make your heart flutter—it should make your nervous system sigh in relief.

Honoring Your Longing for Safety

Fiscal attraction is not superficial. It’s an intelligent response to a nervous system that has been shaped by lived experience. By honoring your longing for safety—financial and emotional—you’re not being materialistic. You’re being human.

Ready to explore how your relationship with money and love are connected? At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we specialize in helping individuals and couples heal from attachment trauma, financial anxiety, and relationship struggles that impact emotional and nervous system regulation. Whether you’re seeking support for dating with intention, building financial compatibility in relationships, or recovering from past trauma that affects your sense of safety, our integrative approach—grounded in somatic therapy, EMDR, and neuroscience—can help. Don’t settle for relationships that leave you in survival mode. Book a free 20-minute consultation today and discover how safe, secure love—and financial peace—can feel in your body.

📞 Call us at (310) 651-8458

📱 Text us at (310) 210-7934

📩 Email us at admin@embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

🔗 Visit us at www.embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

👉 Check us out on Instagram @embodied_wellness_and_recovery

🌍 Explore our offerings at Linktr.ee: https://linktr.ee/laurendummit

References

1. Cozolino, L. (2014). The Neuroscience of Human Relationships: Attachment and the developing social brain (2nd ed.). W.W. Norton & Company.

2. Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W.W. Norton & Company.

3. Schore, A. N. (2012). The Science of the Art of Psychotherapy. W.W. Norton & Company.