Healing Self Alienation: How Trauma Disconnects You from Your True Self and Somatic Strategies for Reconnection

Discover the neuroscience behind self-alienation, how trauma disconnects you from your authentic self, and somatic approaches to heal emotional numbness, dissociation, and inner disconnection. Learn expert strategies from Embodied Wellness and Recovery to rebuild identity, purpose, and presence.

When You Lose Connection with Who You Are

Have you ever felt like you are watching your life from the outside instead of living it from within? Do you feel disconnected from your needs, desires, emotions, or sense of purpose? Have you caught yourself thinking, “I don’t even know who I am anymore”?

These are not signs of failure or inadequacy. They are symptoms of self-alienation, a deep and painful internal disconnection that often emerges in the aftermath of chronic stress, trauma, or years of survival mode.

In trauma recovery, this stage is often referred to as “the second suffering”. It is the moment you realize that you have been living far away from your genuine self.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we see this stage not as a setback but as a profound turning point. This is where real healing begins. This is where the nervous system finally has enough safety to show you what has been buried beneath defense, numbness, or perfectionism.

This is the stage where you stop living from the outside in and begin reclaiming your life from the inside out.

What Is Self Alienation?

Self-alienation is the internal disconnect that occurs when overwhelming experiences force you to separate from your own emotions, needs, or identity to survive.

It may look like:

     — Feeling emotionally numb or blank
    — Struggling to make decisions because you do not know what you want
    — Feeling detached from your body
    — Shape shifting to meet the expectations of others
    — Overachieving while feeling empty inside
    — Living in chronic fight, flight, or freeze
    — Losing connection to meaning or purpose
    — Feeling like a stranger to yourself

Instead of experiencing life through your authentic self, you begin functioning through a protective self, a version of you shaped by fear, shame, or the need to stay safe.

The Neuroscience Behind Losing Connection with the Self

Self-alienation begins in the nervous system. When the body experiences overwhelming stress, the brain shifts into survival mode.

1. Chronic stress suppresses the prefrontal cortex

This area of the brain is responsible for self-awareness, emotional insight, and conscious choice-making. When it goes offline, you lose clarity and connection to your values and desires.

2. The amygdala amplifies threat signals

Your brain becomes focused on danger rather than authenticity, exploration, or creativity.

3. Dissociation becomes a survival response

When fight-or-flight is not enough, your system may disconnect from sensations, emotions, or identity to protect you.

4. Polyvagal Theory explains how the body numbs out

A chronically activated sympathetic system (fight or flight) or dorsal vagal shutdown (freeze) keeps you far away from your true self.

You cannot feel authentic when your body is in survival mode.
Reconnection begins when the nervous system returns to a state of safety.

Why Trauma Causes You to Lose Your Sense of Self

Trauma is not only what happened to you. Trauma is also what happened inside you as a result.

Many people lose access to their true selves because:

     — They learned to please others to stay safe
    — Their emotions were dismissed or punished
    — They grew up in chaos or unpredictability
     — They internalized shame as identity
    — They were taught their needs were too much
    — They had to be the strong ones and suppress vulnerability
    — They adapted to survive emotionally, psychologically, or physically

These strategies may have been essential at the time. But later in life, they create a sense of emptiness, confusion, or helplessness.

Self-alienation is a brilliant survival adaptation.
But healing requires learning how to reconnect with what once had to be hidden.

Signs You Are Disconnected From Your True Self

You may be experiencing self-alienation if you relate to any of the following:

     — You can care for everyone else but struggle to care for yourself
    — You feel disconnected from your intuition
    — You have difficulty identifying your feelings
    — You rely heavily on external validation
    — You struggle to feel joy, excitement, or hope
     — You lose your sense of identity in relationships
    — You feel chronically tired, numb, or overwhelmed
     — Making decisions feels paralyzing
    — You feel a quiet grief that you cannot fully explain

These symptoms are not personality flaws. They are indications that your nervous system has been protecting you for a long time.

Somatic Approaches to Healing the Disconnected Self

Reconnection does not happen through intellect alone.
It happens through the body, where trauma is stored and processed.

Below are somatic strategies used at Embodied Wellness and Recovery to help clients reconnect with their authentic selves.

1. Embodied Awareness: Learning to Feel Yourself Again

Healing begins with sensation.
Gentle practices help you notice:

     — Warmth
    — Tension
    — Breath
    — Heaviness
     — Constriction
    — Openness

This teaches your nervous system that it is safe to inhabit your body again.

Even two minutes of slow, intentional presence per day begins to rebuild inner connection.

2. Pendulation and Titration

Borrowed from Somatic Experiencing, these techniques help you approach uncomfortable sensations slowly and safely, never overwhelming your system. You build capacity to feel without shutting down.

3. EMDR for identity reconstruction

EMDR helps:

     — Integrate fragmented experiences
    — Release shame
    — Build internal coherence
    — Restore access to the Self as a stable internal anchor

Many clients discover parts of themselves they never knew were missing.

4. Polyvagal Informed Practices

These include:

     — Grounding
    — Breath pacing
    — Orienting to the environment
    — Co-regulation through therapeutic attunement

These rebuild a sense of internal safety, which is the foundation for authentic identity.

5. Inner Child and Parts Work for Self Integration

IFS-informed approaches help clients connect with the younger parts of themselves who learned to hide, disconnect, or carry shame. Meeting these parts with compassion restores wholeness.

6. Somatic Boundary Work

When you learn to feel and express boundaries:

     — Identity strengthens
    — Authenticity increases
    — The nervous system feels safer
    — Relationships become more aligned

Boundaries are one of the clearest paths back to the true self.

Reconnecting with Purpose and Meaning

Self-discovery is not only emotional. It is existential.
Clients often begin asking:

    — What matters most to me?
    — What do I actually want?
    — What values do I want to live by?
    — What relationships feel nourishing?
   — What lifestyle feels aligned with who I really am?

These questions naturally emerge as the nervous system shifts from survival to expansion.

From this place, clarity becomes possible.

Why This Work Cannot Be Done Alone

Self-alienation often forms in the context of unsafe relationships.
Reconnection happens in the context of safe, attuned, co-regulating relationships, either with a therapist, coach, partner, or trusted person.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we help clients rebuild:

     — Internal safety
    — Nervous system resilience
    — Emotional coherence
    — A felt sense of self
    — The capacity to trust their truth

This is the foundation of long-term healing.

Coming Home to Yourself

Self-alienation feels painful because it pulls you away from the life you were meant to live. But the moment you recognize that disconnection, the path toward reconnection begins.

Through somatic practices, trauma-informed therapy, and compassionate relational support, it is not only possible to reclaim your genuine self but to feel safer, stronger, and more alive than ever.

Embodied Wellness and Recovery is here to help you rebuild that connection from the inside out.

Reach out to schedule a complimentary 20-minute consultation with our team of therapists, trauma specialists,  somatic practitioners, or relationship experts and start working towards integrative, embodied healing today. 

📞 Call us at (310) 651-8458

📱 Text us at (310) 210-7934

📩 Email us at admin@embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

🔗 Visit us at www.embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

👉 Check us out on Instagram @embodied_wellness_and_recovery

🌍 Explore our offerings at Linktr.ee: https://linktr.ee/laurendummit

References 

1) Badenoch, B. (2018). The heart of trauma: Healing the embodied brain in the context of relationships. W. W. Norton.

2) Levine, P. A. (2010). In an unspoken voice: How the body releases trauma and restores goodness. North Atlantic Books.

3) Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton

When Stress Starts to Hurt: How Chronic Stress Shrinks the Hippocampus and What You Can Do to Protect Your Brain

Chronic stress can shrink the hippocampus, weaken memory, disrupt emotional balance, and overload the nervous system. Learn how trauma-informed and somatic therapy at Embodied Wellness and Recovery helps repair the brain and restore resilience.

When Stress Goes From Helpful to Harmful

Stress is part of being human. A little can sharpen your focus, boost motivation, and help you rise to challenges. But what happens when stress stops being temporary and starts becoming your baseline? What happens when your nervous system never really powers down?

Neuroscientists have found that while short-term stress can activate helpful brain pathways, chronic stress actually damages the hippocampus, a key brain region responsible for learning, memory, emotional regulation, and resilience. Over time, this damage contributes to forgetfulness, irritability, sleep problems, emotional overwhelm, and difficulty concentrating.

If you have ever wondered:

    — Why do I feel constantly overwhelmed even when nothing major is happening?
   — Why is my memory worse than it used to be?
    — Why does my brain feel foggy or “offline” when I am stressed?
   — Why do small things set me off more than they used to?

You are not imagining it. The effects of chronic stress are real, measurable, and deeply tied to the biology of your brain.

The good news is that the same science that explains how chronic stress harms the hippocampus also shows us how to repair and protect it.

That is what this article explores.

The Science: Short-Term Stress Helps, Chronic Stress Hurts

Short bursts of stress activate the sympathetic nervous system, releasing cortisol. This is adaptive. It helps you focus, respond quickly, and solve problems under pressure.

But here is what the research shows:

Short-term stress enhances:

    — Alertness
    — Immune response
   — Motivation
    — Energy
   — Memory consolidation

 Chronic stress damages:

     — The hippocampus
    — The ability to regulate emotions
    — Memory recall
    — Learning pathways
    — Decision-making processes

When stress becomes chronic, cortisol stays elevated longer than the brain is designed to handle. Over time, this excess cortisol disrupts neuronal functioning and can even cause hippocampal atrophy, resulting in the hippocampus shrinking.

This is not metaphorical.

It is measurable on brain scans.

How Chronic Stress Changes Your Brain

1. It Shrinks the Hippocampus

The hippocampus plays a crucial role in memory, learning, and the organization of information. Chronic stress triggers inflammation and reduces neurogenesis, the process by which new neurons are formed. This makes learning more difficult and increases the likelihood of forgetfulness.

2. It Weakens Emotional Regulation

A damaged hippocampus makes it harder to contextualize experiences, which means everyday stressors can feel like emergencies.

You may find yourself asking:

     — Why do I react so strongly to things that never used to bother me?
    — Why does my body tighten or shut down when I am not actually in danger?

This is not a personality flaw. It is a nervous system under strain.

3. It Overactivates the Amygdala

Chronic stress fuels the amygdala, the brain’s threat detector. With a sensitized amygdala, your body constantly senses danger even when you are objectively safe.

This contributes to anxiety, irritability, hypervigilance, and emotional exhaustion.

4. It Disrupts the Prefrontal Cortex

The prefrontal cortex is responsible for planning, problem-solving, and impulse control. Chronic stress reduces blood flow and connectivity in this region, making you feel foggy, scattered, or overwhelmed.

This is why people under chronic stress often say:

     — “I can’t think straight.”
    — “My brain feels overloaded.”
    — “I can’t focus on anything.”

Why Chronic Stress Feels Like Trauma in the Body

Chronic stress and trauma share a similar neuroscientific pattern:

     — The nervous system stays activated
    — The body remains braced for threat
    — Stress hormones remain elevated
    — The hippocampus struggles to regulate memory and emotion
    — The brain becomes conditioned to expect danger

Chronic stress, like trauma, teaches the nervous system to operate from survival mode.

Survival mode helps in emergencies.

It becomes a problem when it becomes your default.

The Painful Reality: When Chronic Stress Affects Your Daily Life

Do any of these sound familiar?

     — You forget simple things
    — Your sleep is disrupted
    — You feel physically tense most of the day
    — You have difficulty concentrating or making decisions
    — You react emotionally to things that should not be overwhelming
    — You feel wired, tired, or both
    — Your energy crashes without warning
    — You feel mentally foggy or emotionally flat

If so, your hippocampus and nervous system may be signaling that something needs attention.

The good news: The brain is plastic.

It can heal.
It can rewire.
It can grow again.

Hope Through Neuroscience: You Can Rebuild Your Hippocampus

Neuroplasticity is one of the most hopeful discoveries in neuroscience. It means the brain can form new pathways, grow new neurons, and restructure itself even after chronic stress.

Here is what supports hippocampal repair:

1. Somatic Therapy

Somatic therapies regulate the autonomic nervous system and help shift the body from a state of survival into one of safety. When the nervous system feels safe, cortisol levels decrease, allowing the hippocampus to repair itself.

2. EMDR and Trauma Therapy

EMDR has been shown to reduce amygdala activation while strengthening hippocampal integration. It helps the brain process stress, trauma, and emotional experiences more effectively.

3. Mindfulness and Interoceptive Awareness

Mindfulness reduces cortisol levels, enhances emotional regulation, and promotes hippocampal neurogenesis.

4. Movement-Based Interventions

Exercise increases BDNF (brain-derived neurotrophic factor), which stimulates hippocampal growth and improves memory.

5. Rest and Sleep Regulation

During sleep, the hippocampus consolidates memories and flushes stress hormones. Rest is not a luxury; it is a neurological necessity.

How Embodied Wellness and Recovery Helps Chronic Stress

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, our approach integrates:

     — Somatic Experiencing
    — EMDR
    — Polyvagal-informed therapy
    — Attachment repair
    — Mindfulness
    — Nervous system resourcing
    — Relationship-based healing

Our goal is not only symptom relief but nervous system repair, promoting lasting change in:

     — Emotional resilience
    — Memory and focus
    — Stress tolerance
    — Relationship patterns
    — Self-compassion
    — Overall mental health

Our therapists help you shift from living in survival mode to feeling regulated, grounded, and empowered.

You do not have to navigate chronic stress as your body’s default state. There is another way your nervous system can feel.

Questions to Ask Yourself

    — Has stress become my baseline instead of a response?
    — Does my body feel constantly tense or on alert?
    — Am I struggling to remember things the way I used to?
    — Do I feel more irritable or reactive lately?
    — Is my sleep or digestion affected by stress?
    — Do I want support in rewiring these patterns?

Your body is speaking to you. Your brain is asking for relief.

You Can Reclaim Your Brain and Your Peace

Chronic stress may shrink the hippocampus, but it does not define your future. With the right tools, support, and nervous system repair, the brain can grow healthier, stronger, and more resilient than before.

Your brain can learn new ways to be.
Your body can learn new ways to feel safe.
Your mind can rediscover clarity, steadiness, and ease.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we help clients restore balance through trauma-informed, somatic, and neuroscience-based care. Your brain and body deserve that level of support.

Reach out to schedule a complimentary 20-minute consultation with our team of therapists, trauma specialists, somatic practitioners, or relationship experts, and start working towards integrative, embodied healing today. 

📞 Call us at (310) 651-8458

📱 Text us at (310) 210-7934

📩 Email us at admin@embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

🔗 Visit us at www.embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

👉 Check us out on Instagram @embodied_wellness_and_recovery

🌍 Explore our offerings at Linktr.ee: https://linktr.ee/laurendummit

References 

1) Kim, J. J., & Diamond, D. M. (2002). The stressed hippocampus, synaptic plasticity, and lost memories. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 3(6), 453–462.

2) McEwen, B. S. (2012). The ever-changing brain: Stress and neuroplasticity. Neuron, 73(3), 447–469.

3) Sapolsky, R. M. (2004). Why zebras don’t get ulcers. Holt Paperbacks

The Future of Medicine Lives in Thought, Not Just Tablets: Integrative Healing for Root Cause Wellness

Explore how the future of integrative medicine lies in combining neuroscience, psychology, and holistic therapies to address the root causes of chronic symptoms. Learn why pill-popping culture often fails and how embodied approaches restore nervous system regulation, trauma processing, relationships, sexuality, and intimacy.

Are you exhausted by a cycle of prescriptions, side effects, and temporary “fixes” that never address the deeper pain or invisible wound? In today’s pill-popping culture, you may endure endless medications for headaches, anxiety, gut inflammation, or chronic pain, only to feel frustrated, disconnected, and desperate for something that actually works. What if the future of medicine isn’t just what we take but how we think, feel, sense, and connect?

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we believe the next frontier of healing lies in integrative medicine: a model that fuses neuroscience, psychology, and holistic therapies to address root cause healing.

Why Symptom-Control Alone Falls Short

Traditional medicine excels in acute care and symptom management, but when it comes to chronic, complex conditions, the model often leaves a gap. Researchers note that integrative medicine “uses an evidence-based approach to treat the whole person,” including mind, body, and spirit (Trkulja & Barić, 2024).

When you take a pill for anxiety but don’t address underlying nervous system dysregulation, trauma, relational ruptures, or lifestyle stressors, the following symptom arises: fatigue, brain fog, digestive distress, and relationship struggles. The body keeps score, and the mind narrates a story of something “wrong with me,” but often what’s wrong is the system into which the symptom is immersed.

Integrative Medicine: What It Looks Like in Practice

     — Mind-body connection emphasis – Neuroscience shows that psychological states shape neural networks and physiology. Mind-body medicine has been shown to “significantly influence neural networks … reducing stress, anxiety, and physical health risks” (Schulz, 2025).
    — Root-cause focus – Not just suppressing symptoms but exploring lifestyle, trauma history, nervous system patterns, diet, movement, and relational health.
    — Blended therapies – Conventional treatments plus therapies like Somatic Experiencing, polyvagal-informed care, nutrition, relational psychology, and mindful movement.
    — Patient‐as-partner mindset – You are invited into a collaborative process where your narrative, your body sense, and your insight become integral to the care.

Neuroscience Meets Psychology: Why Thinking Matters

Brain research indicates that thoughts, beliefs, trauma, and relational experiences can reshape neural pathways, synaptic connections, and even gene expression. When you consistently live in a state of threat, with an anxious brain and a wound-activated nervous system, the body stays primed for defense, inflammation rises, and healing stalls.

A review of integrative medicine highlights how the “human body is a complex ecosystem influenced by emotions, thoughts, lifestyle, and spiritual beliefs” (Lázár, 2011). In other words, what you think, how you feel, and how you relate become medicine.

Symptoms Without Relief

Have you asked yourself:

     — Why do I keep trying new medications, but I still feel disconnected, fatigued, or trapped in pain?
    — Why does my body keep warning me (headache, gut pain, insomnia) yet every new prescription comes with more side effects?
     — Why is my therapy focusing on talk without engaging my body or nervous system, and my symptoms are still dancing?

These are red flags saying: your treatment is symptom-centric, not system-centric. The medicine your nervous system needs isn’t just chemical; it’s relational, somatic, psychological, neurobiological, and holistic.

Root-Cause Healing

Here’s how we integrate neuroscience, psychology, and holistic therapies to create transformative care:

1. Nervous System Repair & Somatic Regulation

We use body-based tools (breathwork, polyvagal-informed practices, Somatic Experiencing) to recalibrate the autonomic nervous system from chronic fight/flight/freeze into relational safety, repair, and resilience.

2. Trauma-Informed Approach

Symptoms often hide trauma (big T or little t). We specialize in mapping relational wounds, attachment ruptures, nervous system dysregulation, and integrating therapeutic somatic work so that your brain, body, and emotions align into a coherent system.

3. Embodied Relational Psychology

Relationships, sexuality, and intimacy matter. We explore how your nervous system, brain, and hormone shifts impact connection. Healing becomes not just about you but about how you relate, connect, and repair with others.

4. Neuro-Informed Mindset Re-Training

We bring in neuroscience-grounded psycho-education: your brain is plastic, your nervous system can learn new patterns, and your mind can become medicine. When you shift thought, habit, and body sense, symptoms change.

5. Lifestyle & Integrative Support

Nutrition, movement, relational repair, and mindset training all become part of your medicine cabinet. Integrative medicine research shows that combining these with conventional care yields more sustainable outcomes (Rawal & Acharya, 2024).

Hope through Integrated Transformation

You may feel like your medicine cabinet is full, and your list of symptoms continues to grow. However, integrative medicine offers an alternative approach: one where your thoughts, feelings, nervous system, and relationships become integral to the healing process, not by discarding conventional medicine but by situating it within a system that honors you as a whole being.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we believe the future of medicine is you, your nervous system, your relational system, your brain, and your biology. When these systems are aligned and integrated, medicine becomes not just what you take, but how you live, think, and connect.

Reach out to schedule a complimentary 20-minute consultation with our team of therapists, trauma specialists, somatic practitioners, or relationship experts, and start working towards integrative, embodied healing today. 

📞 Call us at (310) 651-8458

📱 Text us at (310) 210-7934

📩 Email us at admin@embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

🔗 Visit us at www.embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

👉 Check us out on Instagram @embodied_wellness_and_recovery

🌍 Explore our offerings at Linktr.ee: https://linktr.ee/laurendummit

References

Lázár, I. (2011). Spirituality and human ecosystems. In Spirituality and Ethics in Management (pp. 95-105). Dordrecht: Springer Netherlands.

Rawal, K., & Acharya, M. A. (2024). TOWARDS SUSTAINABLE HEALTHCARE: NAVIGATING INNOVATIVE PRACTICES FOR ADAPTATION AND IMPACT. Interdisciplinary Perspectives on Sustainable Development from Vision to Action.

Schulz, S. (2025). Editorial: Mind-body medicine and its impacts on neural networks. Frontiers in Integrative Neuroscience.

Trkulja, V., & Barić, H. (2024). Combining Complementary and Alternative Medicine (CAM) with Conventional Treatments for Major Depressive Disorder. Recent Advances and Challenges in the Treatment of Major Depressive Disorder, 93-126.