Lauren Dummit-Schock 11/6/25 Lauren Dummit-Schock 11/6/25

When the Body Remembers: Understanding the Link Between Trauma and Chronic Pain and How Somatic Therapy Heals from Within

When the Body Remembers: Understanding the Link Between Trauma and Chronic Pain and How Somatic Therapy Heals from Within

Discover the neuroscience behind the connection between trauma and chronic pain. Learn how somatic therapy helps regulate the nervous system, release stored tension, and restore mind-body balance. Written by trauma and somatic therapy specialists at Embodied Wellness and Recovery.

The Hidden Connection Between Trauma and Chronic Pain

Have you ever wondered why your body continues to ache even when medical tests show nothing is wrong? Why do old injuries flare during times of stress, or why does tension seem to live in your neck, jaw, or stomach? For many people, chronic pain isn’t just a physical condition; it’s the body’s way of communicating unresolved emotional wounds.

Modern neuroscience and somatic psychology suggest that chronic pain and trauma are deeply intertwined. The body remembers what the mind tries to forget. When trauma is left unresolved, it doesn’t simply vanish; it embeds itself in the nervous system, shaping posture, muscle tension, and pain perception for years to come.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we specialize in helping clients understand and heal the relationship between trauma, chronic pain, and the nervous system. Through somatic therapy, EMDR, and other body-based approaches, clients learn to listen to their bodies’ wisdom and release the stored patterns that perpetuate suffering.

How Trauma Gets Trapped in the Body

When you experience something overwhelming, such as emotional neglect, abuse, an accident, or even ongoing stress, your body activates the fight, flight, or freeze response. This survival mechanism floods the system with adrenaline and cortisol, preparing you to act or escape. But if the threat feels inescapable, the nervous system can become stuck in that state of hyperarousal or shutdown.

In other words, the trauma response doesn’t end when the event ends. The body remains in a constant state of hypervigilance or collapse. This dysregulation may manifest as:

— Chronic muscle tension or migraines
— Stomach pain or gastrointestinal issues
— Lower back pain without a structural cause
— Autoimmune flare-ups
— Fatigue or insomnia

Research shows that trauma changes the way the brain processes pain. The amygdala (fear center) stays overactive, while the prefrontal cortex (rational brain) becomes less able to regulate emotions or sensations. The insula, which helps you perceive internal body states, can also misfire, amplifying the sensation of pain even when there’s no new injury.

The result? A body that keeps sounding the alarm long after the danger has passed.

Chronic Pain as a Nervous System Issue

Many people with chronic pain feel dismissed by traditional medical approaches. They’re told their pain is “all in their head” or simply handed medication to manage symptoms. But chronic pain isn’t imagined; it’s embodied. It’s the language of a nervous system that never got the message that it’s safe again.

From a polyvagal perspective, chronic pain reflects a dysregulated autonomic nervous system. The vagus nerve, which connects the brain to major organs, plays a crucial role in regulating stress responses. When trauma disrupts this system, the body may oscillate between sympathetic overactivation (anxiety, tension, inflammation) and dorsal vagal shutdown (numbness, exhaustion, despair).

Somatic therapy aims to restore flexibility to this system, helping the body return to a state of regulation where healing can occur.

What Is Somatic Therapy?

Somatic therapy is a body-centered approach that helps clients reconnect with their physical sensations, emotions, and inner resources. Instead of focusing solely on cognitive processing, it emphasizes the felt experience, or how emotions manifest in the body.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, somatic therapy sessions may include:

— Body awareness and tracking: Learning to notice tension, breath, and internal cues without judgment.
— Grounding and orienting: Reconnecting with safety through present-moment awareness.
— Pendulation: Gently moving between states of discomfort and calm to expand the nervous system’s capacity for regulation.
— Resourcing: Identifying internal and external supports to stabilize the body during emotional processing.
— Gentle movement or breathwork: Releasing stored activation and restoring flow through the musculature and fascia.

Over time, this work helps the body discharge old survival energy, completing what the trauma response was unable to finish. Clients often notice not only emotional relief but also reduced physical pain, improved sleep, and greater resilience.

The Neuroscience of Somatic Healing

Neuroscience confirms what many somatic therapists have long observed: the body and brain heal together. When clients tune into physical sensations with curiosity and compassion, the insula and anterior cingulate cortex, regions involved in emotional regulation and interoception, become more active.

This mindful awareness fosters neuroplasticity, enabling the formation of new neural pathways. The prefrontal cortex can once again modulate the amygdala, calming hyperarousal and reducing pain perception. Over time, the nervous system learns that it is safe to relax.

Somatic therapy doesn’t simply manage pain; it helps the body relearn safety, releasing the chronic muscle contractions and inflammatory responses that maintain suffering.

Why Trauma-Informed Care Matters

For individuals with trauma histories, traditional physical treatments like massage or chiropractic care can sometimes feel invasive or even re-traumatizing if the body isn’t ready. Somatic therapy offers a gentle, non-invasive alternative that honors the client’s pace.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, our trauma-informed approach ensures that every session centers on consent, empowerment, and safety. Clients are guided to develop internal resources before exploring distressing sensations or memories. This helps prevent overwhelm while supporting integration at both the emotional and physiological levels.

A Holistic Approach to Chronic Pain

Healing chronic pain isn’t just about addressing the physical body; it’s about repairing the relationship between body, mind, and emotion. That’s why we integrate EMDR, mindfulness, and relational therapy into somatic work.

This integrative model supports:

— Nervous system repair through Somatic Experiencing and EMDR resourcing
— Emotional release through safe exploration of stored sensations
— Relationship repair by addressing attachment wounds that perpetuate tension and fear
— Sexual and emotional intimacy restoration, when pain or trauma has disrupted connection

When trauma healing and body awareness come together, clients rediscover a sense of ease, vitality, and wholeness.

Asking the Right Questions

If you’re struggling with chronic pain, it can help to pause and ask yourself:

— When did my pain first begin? Was it around a time of loss, conflict, or emotional stress?
— Do I notice my symptoms worsen when I feel anxious or triggered?
— Have I spent more time treating the symptoms of my pain than exploring its emotional roots?

Sometimes, the body holds answers that words cannot reach.

Hope Through Somatic Awareness

Chronic pain can make life feel small, restricting movement, joy, and connection. But within your body lies the map to healing. Through somatic therapy, you can learn to listen to what your body is communicating rather than trying to silence it.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we guide clients through a process of reconnection and regulation, helping them feel safe in their bodies again. As the nervous system stabilizes, both pain and emotional distress tend to soften. The goal isn’t just the absence of pain; it’s the presence of vitality, agency, and inner peace.

Pain as a Messenger

Chronic pain is more than a medical condition; it’s often a messenger of unhealed experience. Somatic therapy offers a compassionate and scientifically grounded path toward understanding those messages and transforming them into wisdom.

Your body isn’t betraying you; it’s asking to be heard. And with the right guidance, it can finally exhale.

Contact us to schedule a complimentary 20-minute consultation with our team of somatic practitioners, trauma specialists, and relationship experts. Start your journey toward embodied connection and freedom from pain today.

📞 Call us at (310) 651-8458

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References

Levine, P. A. (2010). In an unspoken voice: How the body releases trauma and restores goodness. North Atlantic Books.

Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.

Van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Penguin Books.

Lauren Dummit-Schock 11/5/25 Lauren Dummit-Schock 11/5/25

Setting Boundaries with Emotionally Draining People: How to Honor Your Limits Without Guilt or Resentment

When the Body Remembers: Understanding the Link Between Trauma and Chronic Pain and How Somatic Therapy Heals from Within

Feeling emotionally drained after spending time with certain people? Learn how to set healthy boundaries with emotionally exhausting individuals using neuroscience-backed strategies. Discover how honoring your limits without guilt can help restore your energy, nervous system balance, and emotional well-being.

Have you ever left a conversation feeling inexplicably tired, anxious, or even resentful, like the life force was quietly pulled out of you? Maybe it’s a friend who constantly vents but never listens, a family member who thrives on drama, or a colleague who always needs emotional reassurance. These are what psychologists often call emotionally draining relationships, and over time, they can leave your nervous system in a constant state of depletion.

Many people who struggle to set boundaries know the problem all too well:

— “I feel guilty saying no.”
— “I don’t want to hurt their feelings.”
— “I’m afraid they’ll think I’m selfish or cold.”

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we often work with clients who carry the emotional weight of others without realizing the toll it takes on them. Understanding the neuroscience of boundaries and learning how to protect your emotional energy can help you honor your limits without shame and cultivate healthier, more reciprocal relationships.

Why Emotionally Draining People Affect You So Deeply

Our brains are wired for connection. Through mirror neurons and co-regulation, we naturally attune to the emotional states of others. When someone around us is anxious, angry, or dysregulated, our nervous system can unconsciously mirror their state in an attempt to help or soothe.

Suppose this happens frequently, especially in relationships where the other person consistently takes more emotional energy than they give. In that case, you may find yourself stuck in sympathetic arousal (fight-or-flight response) or dorsal shutdown (freeze response). These are the physiological underpinnings of emotional exhaustion.

You might notice:

— Feeling tense, drained, or overstimulated after interacting with certain people
— Difficulty focusing or sleeping after an encounter
— Persistent feelings of guilt or resentment
— A growing urge to withdraw, but fear of confrontation or abandonment

Neuroscientifically speaking, your autonomic nervous system is signaling that your boundaries have been breached.

The Guilt Behind Boundaries: Why It Feels So Hard

Setting boundaries is not just a behavioral skill; it’s a nervous system skill. If you grew up in an environment where love and belonging depended on meeting others’ needs, your brain likely associates boundaries with danger, rejection, or loss.

From a psychological perspective, guilt and anxiety often arise not because boundaries are wrong, but because they activate old survival patterns. Your inner child might still believe:

— “If I say no, I’ll lose connection.”
— “If I assert myself, I’ll be punished.”
— “If I take space, I’ll be alone.”

The good news? These responses can be retrained. By using somatic awareness, mindfulness, and relational healing, you can teach your body that safety and self-respect can coexist with love and empathy.

Understanding the Neuroscience of Boundaries

Boundaries are not walls; they’re filters. They regulate what comes in and what goes out, emotionally, energetically, and physically. Think of them as your nervous system’s immune system. When your boundaries are intact, your body and mind can stay regulated even in the presence of others’ distress.

Here’s how the brain and body collaborate to maintain boundaries:

1. The Prefrontal Cortex: Your Wise Adult

This part of the brain is involved in reasoning, planning, and emotional regulation. When you pause before reacting, take a deep breath, and respond intentionally, your prefrontal cortex is online, guiding you toward conscious choice rather than emotional reactivity.

2. The Amygdala: Your Emotional Alarm

The amygdala alerts you to potential threats. When it’s overactive (as it often is in trauma survivors), it can misinterpret healthy boundaries as rejection or danger. Learning to calm this response through breathwork, grounding, and therapy helps you reclaim balance.

3. The Vagus Nerve: Your Safety Switch

Your vagus nerve helps regulate your social engagement system, the part of your physiology that governs connection, empathy, and calm presence. When you feel safe, you can connect authentically without absorbing others’ emotions.

Five Somatic and Psychological Strategies for Setting Healthy Boundaries

1. Listen to Your Body’s Signals

Before you can set an external boundary, you must recognize your internal ones. Notice:

— Tightness in your chest or jaw when someone oversteps
— A sinking feeling when you agree to something you don’t want
— Fatigue or irritability after a particular interaction

These are your body’s way of saying, “Something isn’t safe or sustainable.”

When you learn to trust these cues, your body becomes your compass for boundary-setting.

2. Practice Regulated Nos

A “no” doesn’t have to be harsh; it can be calm, grounded, and kind.

Try saying:

— “I wish I could, but I don’t have the capacity right now.”
— “I care about you, but I need to take some time for myself.”
— “Let’s talk about this when I have more energy to be present.”

When you say no from a regulated state, your tone, breath, and posture communicate safety, even if your words express a limit.

3. Shift from Guilt to Gratitude

When guilt arises, reframe it as a sign of growth. Guilt often appears when you’re stepping out of a conditioned pattern of self-sacrifice.

Try saying to yourself:

“This guilt means I’m learning to take care of myself.”

Over time, this helps your brain associate boundaries with self-respect instead of selfishness.

4. Create Recovery Rituals After Draining Interactions

Even with good boundaries, certain situations may still leave you emotionally taxed. Use rituals to restore your nervous system after challenging interactions:

— Step outside for a few deep breaths or a short walk
— Use coherent breathing (inhale 5, exhale 5) to reset your vagal tone
— Take a brief sensory break: feel your feet on the ground, notice temperature, texture, sound

These simple practices help your body discharge residual stress, allowing you to return to equilibrium.

5. Work with a Trauma-Informed Therapist

If boundaries consistently trigger panic, guilt, or freeze responses, it’s often rooted in attachment trauma or chronic people-pleasing patterns. Working with a trauma-informed or somatic therapist can help you rewire those early relational imprints and create new experiences of safety in connection.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, our clinicians integrate EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, and attachment-focused therapy to help clients:

     — Repair the nervous system’s stress response
   — Identify and communicate emotional boundaries
   — Heal relational trauma that makes boundaries feel unsafe
— Build internal resilience for authentic connection

From Drained to Grounded: Reclaiming Your Emotional Energy

Imagine walking away from an interaction feeling centered, not depleted. You’ve listened, shown empathy, and remained connected, but your energy is still your own. That’s what it feels like to live with healthy boundaries.

As you develop this skill, certain relationships shift. Some people will adapt to your new limits; others may resist. This is part of the growth process. Holding your boundaries with compassion and consistency communicates both self-respect and emotional maturity.

Boundaries are an act of love: love for yourself, and love for the relationships that thrive when built on respect rather than enmeshment.

Integrating Neuroscience, Compassion, and Practice

Healthy boundaries don’t disconnect you from others; they help you stay connected without losing yourself. They’re not rejection; they’re protection of your nervous system and preservation of your authentic self.

The next time guilt arises when you set a boundary, remind yourself:

“My energy is valuable. When I care for it, I can offer my presence more fully.”

Through consistent practice, your brain and body begin to understand that you can say no without losing love and care for yourself without abandoning others.

If You Feel Constantly Drained, There’s Hope

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we specialize in helping individuals heal from trauma, chronic stress, codependency, and relational burnout.

Our integrative approach combines neuroscience, somatic therapy, and attachment work to help you reclaim your energy, establish healthy boundaries, and restore balance in both your body and relationships.

Visit www.embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com to learn more about trauma-informed therapy, nervous system regulation, and relational healing.

Reach out to schedule a complimentary 20-minute consultation with our team of therapists, trauma specialists, somatic practitioners, or relationship experts, and start creating a felt sense of safety in your relationships today.