Am I Being Cookie Jarred? 10 Signs You're Someone's Backup Plan and Why Attachment Trauma Makes It So Hard to Walk Away
Am I Being Cookie Jarred? 10 Signs You're Someone's Backup Plan and Why Attachment Trauma Makes It So Hard to Walk Away
Are you being cookie-jarred in your relationship? Learn the signs of being someone's backup plan, why attachment trauma makes it difficult to leave, and how neuroscience and nervous system healing can help you build healthier relationships.
You text first almost every time. They disappear for days, then suddenly return with just enough charm to keep your hope alive. They avoid defining the relationship but insist they "really like you." You feel deeply invested, yet strangely uncertain about where you stand.
If this sounds familiar, you may be experiencing a modern dating phenomenon known as cookie jarring. Cookie jarring occurs when someone keeps another person romantically interested as a backup option while continuing to pursue other relationships or delaying genuine commitment. Like saving a cookie for later, the person remains on the shelf until they become convenient.
For many people, the obvious question is:
"Why don't I just leave?"
For those with attachment trauma, the answer is often far more complicated than willpower.
Do These Questions Sound Familiar?
— Why do I keep hoping they'll change?
— Why do I feel addicted to someone who gives me so little consistency?
— Why do mixed signals make me want them more?
— Why am I ashamed that I can't walk away?
— Why do I feel relieved every time they text after ignoring me?
— Why do I keep settling for breadcrumbs when I want commitment?
These experiences often have less to do with weakness and more to do with the way the nervous system has learned to seek connection.
What Is Cookie Jarring?
Cookie jarring describes maintaining someone's emotional investment without offering genuine commitment. The relationship often remains ambiguous, inconsistent, and filled with just enough attention to prevent the other person from leaving. Unlike an openly casual relationship, cookie jarring thrives on uncertainty. That uncertainty can become profoundly destabilizing.
10 Signs You Might Be Someone's Backup Plan
1. Communication Is Inconsistent
They disappear without explanation, then reappear acting as though nothing happened.
2. They Avoid Defining the Relationship
Conversations about exclusivity are redirected, postponed, or dismissed.
3. They Contact You Mainly When Convenient
Late-night messages, last-minute invitations, or reaching out after another relationship ends become the norm.
4. You Feel Chronically Confused
Healthy relationships generally produce clarity. Cookie jarring often produces persistent ambiguity.
5. Their Words and Actions Don't Match
They say they care deeply but rarely demonstrate reliability.
6. You Are Kept at Arm's Length
You know little about their long-term plans, friends, or family despite months of dating.
7. You Constantly Seek Reassurance
You spend significant emotional energy trying to determine whether they truly care.
8. You Rationalize Behavior That Hurts You
You repeatedly explain away cancellations, broken promises, or emotional distance.
9. Your Mood Depends on Their Attention
A text message creates relief. Silence creates panic.
10. You Stay Because of Potential Rather Than Reality
You remain invested in who they might become rather than who they consistently show themselves to be.
Why Cookie Jarring Feels Addictive
The answer lies partly in neuroscience. The brain's reward system responds strongly to intermittent reinforcement, a pattern in which rewards are delivered unpredictably. Occasional affection interspersed with periods of absence can produce powerful emotional conditioning. Inconsistent rewards often maintain behavior more effectively than predictable ones. This is one reason inconsistent relationships can become extraordinarily difficult to leave.
Attachment Trauma Changes the Equation
For individuals with anxious attachment or histories of emotional neglect, inconsistency may feel strangely familiar. If love during childhood was unpredictable, conditional, or emotionally unavailable, the nervous system may have learned that connection requires waiting, proving oneself, or tolerating uncertainty. As adults, familiar dynamics can feel compelling even when they are painful. The body mistakes familiarity for safety.
Shame Often Keeps People Stuck
Many people blame themselves.
"I should know better."
"Why am I settling?"
"Why can't I move on?"
Yet shame rarely creates change. Instead, it often reinforces the very attachment wounds that keep people emotionally invested. The more ashamed someone feels, the more desperately they may seek validation from the very person withholding it.
Your Nervous System May Be Seeking Resolution
When relationships remain unresolved, the brain often continues searching for closure. Each unexpected text or affectionate interaction briefly reduces distress. The nervous system interprets this relief as evidence that staying invested is worthwhile.
Unfortunately, the cycle repeats. Hope rises. Disappointment follows. Hope returns again.
Healthy Love Feels Different
Secure relationships tend to produce greater predictability than uncertainty. Partners communicate consistently. They express interest clearly. They repair misunderstandings. They make room for vulnerability without keeping one another guessing. The absence of chronic anxiety may initially feel unfamiliar to someone accustomed to inconsistency. But emotional safety is not boring. It is regulating.
How Trauma-Informed Healing Can Help
Leaving a cookie-jarring dynamic often requires more than insight. It requires helping the nervous system tolerate grief, uncertainty, and the discomfort of choosing long-term well-being over short-term relief.
Body-based therapies such as somatic therapy and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), along with attachment-focused psychotherapy, can help individuals process unresolved relational wounds, strengthen emotional regulation, and develop healthier expectations for intimacy.
As the nervous system becomes more secure, many people notice a profound shift. They stop confusing unpredictability with passion. They become less attracted to emotional unavailability. They begin choosing consistency over chemistry, fueled by anxiety.
How Embodied Wellness and Recovery Can Help
At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we understand that struggles with dating, attachment, and relationship patterns often reflect deeper nervous system adaptations rather than poor judgment or lack of self-respect.
Our clinicians integrate somatic therapy, EMDR, neuroscience-informed psychotherapy, attachment-focused interventions, and evidence-based trauma treatment to help individuals understand why they remain attached to emotionally inconsistent partners and cultivate relationships grounded in safety, authenticity, and mutual respect. We also specialize in sexuality, intimacy, betrayal trauma, and complex relational dynamics, recognizing that lasting transformation involves both the mind and the body.
The healthiest relationships are not the ones that leave you wondering where you stand. They are the ones that allow your nervous system to stop wondering altogether.
Reach out to schedule a complimentary 20-minute consultation with our team of therapists, trauma specialists, somatic practitioners, or relationship experts, and start working towards integrative, embodied healing today.
📞 Call us at (310) 651-8458
📱 Text us at (310) 210-7934
📩 Email us at admin@embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com
🔗 Visit us at www.embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com
👉 Check us out on Instagram @embodied_wellness_and_recovery
🌍 Explore our offerings at Linktr.ee: https://linktr.ee/laurendummit
References
1) Ainsworth, M. D. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of attachment: A psychological study of the strange situation. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
2) Johnson, S. M. (2019). Attachment theory in practice: Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) with individuals, couples, and families. Guilford Press.
3) Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.
4) Schore, A. N. (2012). The science of the art of psychotherapy. W. W. Norton & Company.
5) van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.
Why You Understand Your Patterns But Still Can't Change Them: The Neuroscience of Trauma, Implicit Memory, and Lasting Transformation
Why You Understand Your Patterns But Still Can't Change Them: The Neuroscience of Trauma, Implicit Memory, and Lasting Transformation
You've done the work. You know your patterns. So why do they keep repeating? Explore the neuroscience of trauma, implicit memory, and body-based healing.
You know why you do it. You know why you become anxious in relationships. You know why you pull away when someone gets too close. You know why you people-please, overwork, shut down, binge, obsess, avoid conflict, choose unavailable partners, or struggle to trust.
You can trace it back to childhood. You can explain your attachment style. You can identify your triggers. You can probably teach a masterclass on your own family dynamics.
And yet...
The pattern keeps happening.
If you've spent years in therapy or recovery, read every self-help book, listened to countless podcasts, and done extensive personal growth work only to find yourself asking, "Why am I still doing this?" you are not imagining the frustration. One of the most painful experiences for therapy-literate individuals is understanding exactly what is happening while simultaneously feeling unable to change it.
This struggle makes sense from a neuroscience perspective. Developing awareness and understanding is important. It is simply not the same thing as embodied transformation.
When Insight Isn't Enough
Many people enter therapy believing that awareness will create change. If they can understand the root cause, they assume the behavior will disappear. Sometimes that happens. Sometimes it allows us to develop skills that will help widen our window of tolerance for discomfort or that replace the problematic behavior. But, this is often not the case.
Why?
Because insight primarily lives in the prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain responsible for reasoning, self-reflection, planning, and conscious awareness. The prefrontal cortex helps you understand your story, make meaning out of your experiences, and recognize patterns.
But many trauma-based behaviors are not driven by conscious reasoning. Rather, they are driven by implicit memory and nervous system conditioning. Your nervous system does not necessarily care what you know. It is driven by what it has learned or been conditioned to expect.
The Difference Between Explicit and Implicit Memory
One of the most significant concepts in trauma therapy is understanding the difference between explicit and implicit memory. Explicit memory consists of experiences you can consciously recall. You remember what happened. You describe it. You can tell the story.
Implicit memory is different. Implicit memory operates outside conscious awareness. It influences emotions, bodily sensations, behaviors, relationship patterns, and automatic reactions without requiring conscious recollection.
This is why someone may intellectually know:
— Their partner is trustworthy.
— Their boss is not angry with them.
— They are safe.
— They are lovable.
— They are competent.
Yet their body responds as though danger is present.
Their heart races. Their chest tightens. Their stomach knots. Their muscles brace. Their nervous system shifts into survival mode.
The thinking brain and the survival brain are having two different conversations.
Trauma Is Not Just a Story. It Is a Physiological Experience.
Trauma is often misunderstood as something that lives exclusively in memory. Modern neuroscience suggests a more complex picture. Traumatic experiences become associated with physiological states, sensory experiences, emotional responses, and autonomic nervous system activation. These patterns can continue long after the original danger has passed.
This does not mean trauma is literally stored in muscles or tissues. Rather, trauma-related experiences become encoded within neural networks, body sensations, emotional responses, and learned survival patterns that can be automatically reactivated. The body remembers what the mind may have already explained.
Why Talk Therapy Often Stops Working
Talk therapy can be incredibly valuable.
It provides:
— Insight
— Emotional processing
— Self-awareness
— Meaning-making
— Relationship understanding
For many people, it is life-changing.
However, when patterns are rooted in nervous system survival responses, insight alone may not reach the level where the pattern is being generated. Consider someone who experienced chronic emotional unpredictability growing up. As an adult, they intellectually understand that their partner is safe.
But when their partner becomes distant for a few hours, panic floods their system. Their body responds before conscious thought has a chance to intervene. No amount of self-talk immediately changes that physiological activation. The survival response is happening faster than cognition.
This is why so many people say:
"I know better, but I still feel this way."
The Nervous System Learns Through Experience
Trauma is fundamentally a learning process.
The nervous system learns:
— People are dangerous
— Conflict leads to abandonment
— Vulnerability is unsafe
— Needs will not be met
— Connection results in pain
These lessons are often learned before language develops. They become embodied expectations rather than conscious beliefs. The nervous system is remarkably efficient. Its primary goal is not happiness. Its primary goal is survival.
When it detects something that resembles past danger, it automatically activates protective responses such as fight, flight, freeze, fawn, or shutdown. This happens whether or not the current situation is actually dangerous.
Why Bottom-Up Healing Matters
If trauma-related patterns are maintained by the nervous system, healing must involve the nervous system. This is where bottom-up therapy becomes essential.
Top-down approaches begin with thoughts.
Bottom-up approaches begin with the body.
Rather than asking:
"What are you thinking?"
Bottom-up approaches often ask:
"What are you noticing in your body right now?"
"What happens when you stay with that sensation?"
"Can your nervous system experience something different?"
Research on somatic approaches suggests that attention to interoception, body awareness, movement, and physiological regulation can support trauma recovery and symptom reduction (Putica et al., 2025).
How EMDR Helps Access Deeper Levels of Processing
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is one example of a therapy that extends beyond cognitive understanding. Rather than focusing exclusively on the narrative, EMDR targets the emotional, physiological, sensory, and memory networks associated with distressing experiences.
Many clients already understand why they react the way they do before beginning EMDR. What changes is not necessarily their insight. What changes is their nervous system's response.
The memory no longer feels current. The body no longer reacts as though the danger is happening now. The experience becomes integrated rather than repeatedly reactivated.
The Missing Piece: Nervous System Regulation
For many high-functioning, self-aware adults, the missing piece is not additional insight. It is regulation.
Nervous system regulation involves helping the body learn:
— Safety
— Flexibility
— Connection
— Presence
— Recovery after activation
Over time, the nervous system develops a greater capacity to remain grounded during stress rather than automatically shifting into survival mode. This creates something insight alone cannot provide: A new lived experience.
What Healing Actually Looks Like
Many people assume healing means never being triggered again. That is not realistic.
Healing often looks more like:
— Responding instead of reacting
— Recovering more quickly
— Feeling emotions without becoming overwhelmed
— Maintaining connection during conflict
— Trusting yourself
— Experiencing safety in your own body
The pattern loses its grip, not because you understand it better, but rather, because your nervous system has learned something new.
For the Person Who Feels Stuck
If you've been doing therapy for years and still find yourself repeating familiar patterns, there is nothing wrong with you. Your lack of change is not evidence of laziness, resistance, or failure. It may simply mean that you've reached the limits of insight-based work. You may have already learned everything your prefrontal cortex needed to know. The next phase may involve helping your nervous system catch up with what your mind already understands.
Why We Take a Body-Based Approach at Embodied Wellness and Recovery
At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we specialize in helping individuals and couples move beyond intellectual understanding into embodied transformation.
Our work integrates:
— EMDR
— Attachment-focused treatment
— Parts work and experiential approaches
We recognize that many clients arrive highly self-aware. They know their patterns. They know their history. They know why they struggle.
What they need is not more explanation. They need an experience of safety, connection, and regulation that reaches the deeper systems where those patterns were originally formed. Because understanding your trauma is important. Understanding your attachment wounds is important. Understanding your nervous system is important. But understanding is not healing.
It is the beginning. The real transformation occurs when the body no longer has to live as though the past is still happening.
Reach out to schedule a complimentary 20-minute consultation with our team of therapists, trauma specialists, somatic practitioners, or relationship experts, and start working towards integrative, embodied healing today.
📞 Call us at (310) 651-8458
📱 Text us at (310) 210-7934
📩 Email us at admin@embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com
🔗 Visit us at www.embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com
👉 Check us out on Instagram @embodied_wellness_and_recovery
🌍 Explore our offerings at Linktr.ee: https://linktr.ee/laurendummit
References
1) Damasio, A. (1994). Descartes' error: Emotion, reason, and the human brain. G. P. Putnam's Sons.
2) Payne, P., Levine, P. A., & Crane-Godreau, M. A. (2015). Somatic experiencing: Using interoception and proprioception as core elements of trauma therapy. Frontiers in Psychology, 6, Article 93.
3) Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.
4) Putica, A., Argus, A., Khanna, R., Nursey, J., & Varker, T. (2025). Interoceptive interventions for posttraumatic stress: A systematic review of treatment and interoception outcomes. Traumatology, 31(2), 195.
5) Shapiro, F. (2018). Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy: Basic principles, protocols, and procedures (3rd ed.). Guilford Press.
6) van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.
Am I a Narcissist? The Psychology, Neuroscience, and Trauma Behind One of the Most Misunderstood Mental Health Labels
Am I a Narcissist? The Psychology, Neuroscience, and Trauma Behind One of the Most Misunderstood Mental Health Labels
Have you been called a narcissist and wondered if it might be true? Learn the difference between narcissistic traits, narcissistic personality disorder, trauma responses, attachment wounds, and emotional dysregulation. Discover the neuroscience behind narcissism and how therapy can help cultivate self-awareness, empathy, and healthier relationships.
Few words carry as much emotional weight as the word narcissist.
Perhaps a partner, friend, family member, or therapist has used the term to describe you. Maybe an argument ended with someone accusing you of being selfish, controlling, manipulative, or emotionally unavailable. Or perhaps after scrolling through social media posts about narcissism, you began wondering whether some of those descriptions fit.
The question can feel deeply unsettling:
Am I a narcissist?
Do I lack empathy?
Am I hurting people without realizing it?
Why do I become defensive when criticized?
Why do I struggle so much with shame, rejection, or feeling misunderstood?
If these questions sound familiar, it is worth noting something important from the start:
People who genuinely worry about whether they are narcissistic often possess a level of self-reflection that is inconsistent with severe narcissistic personality disorder. That does not mean narcissistic traits cannot be present. Most human beings possess some narcissistic tendencies. The real question is not whether you have ever behaved selfishly or defensively. The question is whether those patterns are rigid, pervasive, and consistently interfere with your ability to maintain healthy relationships. Understanding the distinction can provide clarity, compassion, and a path forward.
What Is Narcissism?
The term narcissism is frequently used online, often inaccurately. In psychology, narcissism exists on a spectrum.
At one end is healthy narcissism, which includes:
— Ambition
— Pride in accomplishments
— Healthy self-esteem
— Confidence in one's abilities
At the other end is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), a clinical diagnosis characterized by patterns such as:
— Grandiosity
— Excessive need for admiration
— Entitlement
— Difficulty empathizing with others
— Exploitative behaviors
— Extreme sensitivity to criticism
— Chronic relationship difficulties
Research suggests that narcissism is far more complex than simple selfishness. Beneath many narcissistic behaviors lies profound vulnerability, insecurity, and shame (Morrison, 1983).
Why Have So Many People Been Called Narcissists Recently?
The internet has dramatically increased public awareness of narcissism. While this has helped many people identify emotionally harmful relationship patterns, it has also created confusion.
Today, people are often labeled narcissists for:
— Setting boundaries
— Prioritizing their needs
— Ending relationships
— Being emotionally avoidant
— Being emotionally reactive
— Disagreeing with others
— Having confidence
None of these behaviors alone indicates narcissism. In reality, human behavior exists within a much broader psychological context.
Signs That You May Be Experiencing Trauma Rather Than Narcissism
Many people who fear they are narcissists are actually struggling with unresolved trauma. Trauma can create behaviors that superficially resemble narcissism:
Defensiveness
If criticism felt dangerous growing up, your nervous system may automatically protect itself when you feel judged.
Emotional Withdrawal
Avoiding vulnerability is often a trauma adaptation rather than evidence of narcissism.
Self-Focus During Stress
When the nervous system enters survival mode, attention naturally narrows toward self-protection.
Difficulty Regulating Emotions
Trauma can impair emotional regulation, making reactions appear self-centered even when they are driven by fear. Research in attachment theory and neuroscience suggests that childhood experiences significantly influence adult emotional functioning, self-esteem, empathy, and relationship patterns.
The Neuroscience of Narcissistic Traits
The brain is fundamentally wired for connection. When children consistently receive attuned caregiving, they develop neural pathways associated with emotional regulation, empathy, and secure attachment. When caregivers are inconsistent, critical, neglectful, emotionally unavailable, or abusive, children often develop survival strategies designed to protect them from emotional pain.
Some individuals become highly people-pleasing. Others become emotionally avoidant. Others develop grandiosity as a defense against shame. From a neuroscience perspective, many narcissistic behaviors can be understood as adaptations designed to protect a fragile sense of self.
Research has found that individuals with narcissistic traits often experience heightened sensitivity to social rejection and threats to self-esteem (Cerqueira & Almeida, 2023). Their defensive behaviors may serve as attempts to regulate underlying feelings of inadequacy. This does not excuse harmful behavior. However, it helps explain why these patterns develop.
Questions to Ask Yourself
If you are worried you may be narcissistic, consider the following questions:
Do I genuinely care when I hurt someone?
People with strong narcissistic pathology often struggle to sustain genuine concern for others' emotional experiences.
Can I acknowledge mistakes?
Do you have the ability to reflect on your behavior and take accountability?
Do I experience guilt or remorse?
Healthy guilt often reflects empathy and self-awareness.
Am I willing to examine my blind spots?
The willingness to engage in self-reflection is a critical indicator of psychological health.
Can I tolerate being imperfect?
Many people who fear they are narcissists are actually perfectionists who struggle with shame.
Do I feel devastated by criticism?
Paradoxically, extreme sensitivity to criticism is often rooted in insecurity rather than superiority.
Narcissism, Attachment Wounds, and Shame
One of the most overlooked aspects of narcissistic behavior is shame. Many individuals who appear arrogant externally carry deep feelings of inadequacy internally. Attachment researchers have long recognized that children need consistent emotional attunement to develop a stable sense of self.
When those experiences are absent, individuals may compensate in different ways:
— Seeking excessive validation
— Becoming achievement-oriented
— Avoiding vulnerability
— Controlling relationships
— Struggling with empathy when emotionally activated
These patterns are often less about superiority and more about protection. The nervous system learns strategies to avoid emotional pain. Unfortunately, those strategies can create pain in adult relationships.
How Narcissistic Traits Affect Relationships
Whether someone meets criteria for NPD or simply possesses narcissistic tendencies, certain relationship challenges commonly emerge:
— Difficulty receiving feedback
— Fear of vulnerability
— Defensiveness
— Emotional distancing
— Conflict avoidance
— Difficulty apologizing
— Challenges with empathy during periods of stress
Partners often describe feeling unseen or misunderstood. Meanwhile, the individual exhibiting these behaviors frequently feels criticized, rejected, or chronically inadequate. This creates a painful cycle where both people feel disconnected.
Can Narcissistic Traits Change?
One of the most common misconceptions is that narcissistic traits are fixed. While severe personality disorders can be challenging to treat, research suggests that self-awareness, motivation, attachment-focused therapy, and trauma-informed interventions can support meaningful growth.
The key ingredients often include:
— Honest self-reflection
— Accountability
— Emotional regulation skills
— Increased capacity for empathy
— Understanding underlying attachment wounds
People are capable of developing greater emotional flexibility, relational awareness, and compassion.
How Therapy Can Help
At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we view narcissistic traits through a trauma-informed and attachment-focused lens. Rather than reducing individuals to labels, we seek to understand the underlying experiences that shaped their emotional world.
Our approach may include:
EMDR Therapy
To address unresolved trauma and experiences that continue influencing present-day relationships.
Somatic Therapy
To help regulate the nervous system and reduce defensive survival responses.
Attachment-Focused Therapy
To explore early relationship experiences that contribute to patterns of shame, avoidance, or emotional reactivity.
Couples Therapy
To improve communication, increase empathy, and repair relational ruptures.
Sex and Intimacy Therapy
To address vulnerability, emotional connection, trust, and relational closeness.
The Real Question May Not Be "Am I a Narcissist?"
Perhaps a more helpful question is, “What experiences shaped the way I protect myself?” Labels can sometimes provide clarity, but they can also obscure complexity. Human beings are rarely defined by a single diagnosis, personality trait, or behavior pattern. If someone has called you a narcissist, it may be worth exploring the concern with curiosity rather than shame.
Understanding your attachment history, nervous system responses, relationship patterns, and emotional defenses can create opportunities for growth, healthier relationships, and a deeper understanding of yourself.
At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we help individuals and couples explore the intersection of trauma, attachment, nervous system regulation, sexuality, intimacy, and relational healingthrough evidence-based, neuroscience-informed care.
Reach out to schedule a complimentary 20-minute consultation with our team of therapists, trauma specialists, somatic practitioners, or relationship experts, and start working towards integrative, embodied healing today.
📞 Call us at (310) 651-8458
📱 Text us at (310) 210-7934
📩 Email us at admin@embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com
🔗 Visit us at www.embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com
👉 Check us out on Instagram @embodied_wellness_and_recovery
🌍 Explore our offerings at Linktr.ee: https://linktr.ee/laurendummit
References
1) Campbell, W. K., & Miller, J. D. (2011). The Handbook of Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Theoretical Approaches, Empirical Findings, and Treatments. Wiley.
2) Cerqueira, A., & Almeida, T. C. (2023). Adverse childhood experiences: relationship with empathy and alexithymia. Journal of Child & Adolescent Trauma, 16(3), 559-568.
3) Fonagy, P., Gergely, G., Jurist, E. L., & Target, M. (2002). Affect Regulation, Mentalization, and the Development of the Self. Other Press.
4) Morrison, A. P. (1983). Shame, ideal self, and narcissism. Contemporary Psychoanalysis, 19(2), 295-318.
5) Pincus, A. L., & Lukowitsky, M. R. (2010). Pathological narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 6, 421-446.
6) Schore, A. N. (2019). Right Brain Psychotherapy. W. W. Norton & Company.
7) Siegel, D. J. (2020). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are (3rd ed.). Guilford Press.
Why Unresolved Childhood Trauma Can Resurface During Pregnancy: The Neuroscience of Attachment Wounds, Anxiety, and Emotional Triggers
Why Unresolved Childhood Trauma Can Resurface During Pregnancy: The Neuroscience of Attachment Wounds, Anxiety, and Emotional Triggers
Can pregnancy trigger unresolved childhood trauma? Discover the neuroscience behind pregnancy-related trauma activation, attachment wounds, anxiety, and emotional overwhelm. Learn how EMDR, somatic therapy, and trauma-informed care can help support nervous system regulation during pregnancy.
Pregnancy is often portrayed as a joyful and exciting season of life. Yet for many women, it can also be a surprisingly emotional, vulnerable, and psychologically complex experience.
Have you found yourself feeling more anxious than expected?
Do old memories seem to surface out of nowhere?
Have you become more sensitive to criticism, rejection, conflict, or feelings of abandonment?
Do you find yourself worrying about becoming a parent because of experiences you had with your own mother or father?
Perhaps you expected to spend your pregnancy decorating a nursery and imagining the future, but instead find yourself confronting emotions that seem connected to the past. If so, there may be a reason.
Research suggests that pregnancy often activates unresolved childhood trauma, attachment wounds, and deeply stored nervous system responses that may have remained dormant for years (Kamara, 2015). This is not a sign that something is wrong with you. In many ways, pregnancy can become an invitation to revisit unfinished emotional experiences that your mind and body have carried for decades.
Why Pregnancy Can Trigger Childhood Trauma
Pregnancy represents one of the most significant developmental transitions a person experiences. Psychologists sometimes refer to this transformation as matrescence, the process of becoming a mother. Just as adolescence reshapes identity, pregnancy can dramatically alter how a woman sees herself, her relationships, her body, and her future.
From a neuroscience perspective, pregnancy creates substantial hormonal, neurobiological, and emotional changes that increase sensitivity to attachment experiences and relational memories. As women prepare to nurture a child, their brains naturally begin to revisit internal models of caregiving formed during childhood.
Questions may emerge:
— What kind of mother will I be?
— Will I repeat my parents' mistakes?
— Can I provide emotional safety for my child?
— What if I am not enough?
— What if I fail?
For women who experienced neglect, emotional abuse, criticism, abandonment, parentification, domestic violence, addiction in the home, or inconsistent caregiving, these questions can activate unresolved trauma networks. Experiences that once felt distant may suddenly feel intensely present.
The Brain's Memory Networks Never Fully Forget
One of the most important concepts in trauma therapy is understanding that traumatic experiences are not stored like ordinary memories. According to the Adaptive Information Processing model developed by Francine Shapiro, distressing experiences can become stored in isolated neural networks that remain emotionally charged long after the original event has ended. When current experiences resemble aspects of past experiences, these networks can reactivate.
Pregnancy often contains many triggers that resemble childhood experiences:
— Increased dependency on others
— Changes in identity
— Concerns about safety
— Medical vulnerability
— Physical touch and body awareness
— Fear of abandonment
— Feelings of uncertainty
When these experiences activate old neural networks, women may experience anxiety, sadness, irritability, panic, intrusive memories, nightmares, or emotional flooding without fully understanding why. The body may remember what the conscious mind has forgotten.
The Nervous System and Pregnancy
Trauma is not simply stored in thoughts. It is stored within the nervous system. Research from the fields of neuroscience, attachment theory, and somatic psychology demonstrates that traumatic experiences can alter stress response systems, including the amygdala, hippocampus, hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis, and autonomic nervous system. For individuals with unresolved childhood trauma, the nervous system may become conditioned to anticipate danger even when no threat is present (Goldsmith, Barlow, & Freyd, 2004).
During pregnancy, this can manifest as:
— Excessive worry
— Difficulty sleeping
— Fear of childbirth
— Emotional reactivity
— Feelings of shame or inadequacy
Many women become frustrated because they believe they "should" be happy. Instead, they find themselves overwhelmed by emotions they cannot explain. Often, what they are experiencing is not weakness. It is a nervous system responding to old experiences that were never fully processed.
Attachment Wounds Often Surface During Pregnancy
Pregnancy frequently activates attachment trauma. Attachment theory suggests that early relationships teach us what to expect from ourselves and others. If caregivers were emotionally available, children generally develop a sense of security. If caregiverswere inconsistent, critical, emotionally unavailable, abusive, or unpredictable, children may develop insecure attachment patterns. Pregnancy often reawakens these attachment experiences.
Women may begin remembering:
— Feeling unseen
— Feeling emotionally neglected
— Walking on eggshells around a parent
— Being expected to care for others' emotions
— Never feeling good enough
— Longing for protection that never came
Some women notice increased conflict with their partners during pregnancy. Others become more fearful of rejection or abandonment. These reactions often make sense when viewed through the lens of attachment trauma.
Childhood Trauma and the Fear of Becoming Your Parents
One of the most painful experiences many pregnant women describe is the fear of repeating generational patterns.
Questions like these often emerge:
— What if I become emotionally unavailable like my mother?
— What if I lose my temper like my father?
— What if I damage my child the way I was damaged?
These fears can be profound. Ironically, the very fact that someone worries about repeating harmful patterns often reflects a heightened awareness and a commitment to doing things differently. Research on intergenerational trauma suggests that insight, emotional processing, and reflective functioning significantly reduce the likelihood of transmitting unresolved trauma to future generations. Awareness creates opportunity for change.
The Impact on Relationships, Sexuality, and Intimacy
Pregnancy can also affect intimacy. Women with trauma histories may notice changes in sexual desire, comfort with touch, body image, vulnerability, and emotional closeness. For some, physical changes can trigger memories of past violations or experiences of shame. Others may feel disconnected from their bodies or struggle to communicate their needs.
Partners may misinterpret these changes as rejection when they are actually manifestations of nervous system activation. This is why trauma-informed couples therapy can be especially beneficial during pregnancy. When partners understand the underlying neurobiology of trauma, they can respond with greater empathy and attunement.
How Trauma-Informed Therapy Can Help
The encouraging news is that unresolved trauma does not need to dictate your pregnancy experience. Evidence-based therapies can help the brain and nervous system process unresolved experiences and develop greater resilience. At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we often integrate approaches such as:
EMDR Therapy
EMDR helps the brain reprocess traumatic experiences so they become less emotionally distressing and less likely to trigger present-day symptoms.
Somatic Therapy
Somatic approaches help individuals reconnect with their bodies, regulate their nervous systems, and release survival responses that remain stuck in the body.
Attachment-Focused Therapy
Attachment-focused treatment explores how early relational experiences continue influencing emotional responses, relationships, parenting expectations, and self-worth.
Couples Therapy
Couples therapy helps partners understand trauma responses, improve communication, strengthen emotional connection, and prepare for the transition into parenthood.
Pregnancy Can Become an Opportunity for Growth
Many women initially feel discouraged when old wounds emerge during pregnancy. Yet what appears to be a setback is often a signal that deeper healing is seeking attention. Pregnancy has a unique way of illuminating what matters most. It often brings unresolved pain into awareness not to punish us, but to create an opportunity for reflection, repair, and transformation.
When trauma is addressed with compassion, evidence-based treatment, and nervous system support, women frequently discover a deeper sense of self-understanding, emotional regulation, and confidence as they prepare to welcome a child into the world.
At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we specialize in helping individuals and couples navigate trauma, attachment wounds, nervous system dysregulation,sexuality, intimacy concerns, and major life transitions through a neuroscience-informed, compassionate approach that honors both the mind and the body.
Reach out to schedule a complimentary 20-minute consultation with our team of therapists, trauma specialists, somatic practitioners, or relationship experts, and start working towards integrative, embodied healing today.
📞 Call us at (310) 651-8458
📱 Text us at (310) 210-7934
📩 Email us at admin@embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com
🔗 Visit us at www.embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com
👉 Check us out on Instagram @embodied_wellness_and_recovery
🌍 Explore our offerings at Linktr.ee: https://linktr.ee/laurendummit
References
1) Alhusen, J. L., Hayat, M. J., & Gross, D. (2013). A longitudinal study of maternal attachment and infant developmental outcomes. Archives of Women's Mental Health, 16(6), 521-529.
2) Goldsmith, R. E., Barlow, M. R., & Freyd, J. J. (2004). Knowing and not knowing about trauma: Implications for therapy. Psychotherapy: Theory, research, practice, training, 41(4), 448.
3) Kamara, J. W. (2015). Pregnancy, an opportunity for empowerment: a trauma and attachment-informed approach to creating a corrective relationship for mothers with trauma histories and subsequent substance abuse.
4) Seng, J. S., Low, L. K., Sperlich, M., Ronis, D. L., & Liberzon, I. (2011). Prevalence, trauma history, and risk for posttraumatic stress disorder among nulliparous women in maternity care. Obstetrics & Gynecology, 114(4), 839-847.
5) Shapiro, F. (2018). Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy: Basic Principles, Protocols, and Procedures (3rd ed.). Guilford Press.
6) Slade, A., Cohen, L. J., Sadler, L. S., & Miller, M. (2009). The psychology and psychopathology of pregnancy. In C. H. Zeanah (Ed.), Handbook of Infant Mental Health (3rd ed., pp. 22-39). Guilford Press.
7) Van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.
The Long-Term Impact of Being the “Responsible Child”: How Early Roles Shape Adult Mental Health, Relationships, and the Nervous System
The Long-Term Impact of Being the “Responsible Child”: How Early Roles Shape Adult Mental Health, Relationships, and the Nervous System
Growing up as the responsible child can shape identity, relationships, and nervous system functioning well into adulthood. Learn the long-term psychological and physiological impact and how therapy supports repair and balance.
Many adults arrive in therapy with a familiar story. They were the dependable ones. The mature one. The child who never caused trouble, who handled responsibility early, who noticed what others needed and responded without being asked. From the outside, this role often looked admirable. Inside, it usually carried hidden costs that were never named.
If you grew up as the responsible child, you may find yourself asking:
— Why do I feel exhausted even when I am doing well?
— Why is it hard to rest or ask for help?
— Why do I feel overly responsible for others’ emotions?
— Why do relationships feel draining or unbalanced?
— Why does intimacy feel complicated or performative?
These questions are not signs of personal failure. They are often the long-term effects of an early survival role.
At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we understand the responsible child not as a personality trait, but as an adaptive response to family dynamics, attachment disruption, and nervous system conditioning.
What Does It Mean to Be the Responsible Child?
The responsible child is often the one who:
— Took on adult-like duties at a young age
— Managed siblings or household tasks
— Provided emotional support to caregivers
— Stayed hyperaware of family moods
— Avoided conflict to keep the peace
— Learned to be competent, reliable, and self-controlled
This role frequently emerges in families impacted by:
— Emotional neglect
— Chronic stress or instability
— Addiction or mental illness
— Divorce or loss
— Immature or overwhelmed caregivers
— High achievement or perfectionistic expectations
The responsible child learns early that safety comes from being useful, mature, and non-needy.
Parentification and Early Role Reversal
Clinically, the responsible-child role is often associated with parentification. Parentification occurs when a child takes on emotional or practical responsibilities that exceed their developmental capacity.
There are two common forms:
— Instrumental parentification, where the child manages tasks or caregiving
— Emotional parentification, where the child regulates a caregiver’s emotions or provides psychological support
While some degree of responsibility can build skills, chronic parentification can shift the child’s nervous system into a state of long-term vigilance. The child learns to monitor, anticipate, and respond rather than explore, rest, or receive care.
How the Responsible Child Role Shapes the Nervous System
From a neuroscience perspective, the responsible child often develops a nervous system organized around threat prevention and performance.
Key patterns include:
— Chronic sympathetic activation focused on problem-solving and control
— Difficulty accessing parasympathetic states associated with rest and play
— Heightened sensitivity to others’ emotional cues
— Suppression of personal needs to maintain stability
Over time, the nervous system associates safety with competence rather than connection. This can lead to long-term stress physiology even in objectively safe environments.
Psychological Traits That Often Develop
Adults who were responsible children frequently present with:
— Perfectionism
— High self-criticism
— Over-functioning in relationships
— Difficulty delegating or trusting others
— Guilt when resting or saying no
— A strong inner critic
— Fear of disappointing others
— Difficulty identifying personal desires
These traits once served a protective function. In adulthood, they can limit flexibility, spontaneity, and emotional freedom.
The Impact on Adult Relationships
Over-Responsibility in Intimate Partnerships
Responsible children often become the emotional managers in adult relationships. They anticipate needs, smooth tension, and carry the emotional labor.
This can lead to:
— One-sided relational dynamics
— Resentment that feels hard to name
— Attraction to partners who need caretaking
— Difficulty receiving care without discomfort
Difficulty With Emotional Vulnerability
Because the responsible child learned that emotions could destabilize the system, vulnerability may feel risky. Intimacy can become performance-based rather than reciprocal.
You may appear emotionally available while internally monitoring, managing, or self-editing.
Sexuality and Intimacy Challenges
The responsible child role can also shape sexual experiences and desire.
Common patterns include:
— Feeling responsible for a partner’s satisfaction
— Difficulty accessing pleasure without performance
— Trouble relaxing into bodily sensations
— Confusion between intimacy and obligation
— Reduced libido during stress or relational imbalance
Sexuality thrives in nervous systems that feel safe, playful, and embodied. Responsibility-driven nervous systems often struggle to access these states without therapeutic support.
The Cost to Identity and Desire
One of the most profound impacts of being a responsible child is disrupting authentic self-development.
Because attention was focused outward, many adults struggle with:
— Knowing what they want
— Identifying personal preferences
— Feeling entitled to rest, joy, or pleasure
— Making decisions without guilt
Desire may feel muted or dangerous because it was once secondary to family stability.
Why Success Does Not Always Feel Satisfying
Many responsible children grow into high-achieving adults. They are capable, respected, and outwardly successful. Yet internal satisfaction may remain elusive.
This is because achievement was often tied to safety rather than fulfillment. The nervous system learned to perform to prevent disruption, not to express authentic values. Without meaning and internal alignment, success can feel hollow.
Emotional and Physical Health Consequences
Long-term nervous system overactivation can contribute to:
— Anxiety disorders
— Depression
— Burnout
— Chronic fatigue
— Autoimmune or stress-related conditions
— Sleep disturbances
— Difficulty relaxing or feeling present
These outcomes are not character flaws. They are the cumulative effect of prolonged self-suppression and vigilance.
Why Letting Go of the Role Feels So Hard
The responsible child role is often deeply intertwined with identity. Letting go can evoke:
— Fear of chaos or abandonment
— Guilt about prioritizing self
— Anxiety about being perceived as selfish
— Grief for the childhood that was missed
Therapy helps untangle these emotions while preserving the strengths developed through responsibility.
How Therapy Supports Repair and Balance
At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we work with responsible children through trauma-informed, attachment-focused, and somatic approaches.
Therapy supports healing by:
— Regulating the nervous system and reducing hypervigilance
— Differentiating responsibility from self-worth
— Processing grief and anger safely
— Reconnecting with bodily cues and desire
— Building tolerance for rest and receptivity
— Establishing boundaries without shame
— Cultivating reciprocal relationships
Rather than eliminating competence, therapy restores choice.
Reclaiming Agency Without Losing Strength
Being responsible developed resilience, intelligence, and empathy. Healing does not require abandoning these strengths. It involves learning when to use them and when to rest.
Over time, many clients discover:
— Increased emotional flexibility
— More balanced relationships
— Improved intimacy and pleasure
— Greater clarity around values and purpose
— A more profound sense of internal permission
The nervous system learns that safety can coexist with ease.
A Compassionate Reframe
If you were the responsible child, you adapted brilliantly to the environment you were given. Your nervous system learned what it needed to know to survive.
Now, with the proper support, it can learn something new.
At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we help adults gently reorient from a survival-based sense of responsibility toward an understanding of regulation, connection, and authenticity. The goal is not to undo who you became, but to expand who you are allowed to be.
Reach out to schedule a complimentary 20-minute consultation with our team of therapists, trauma specialists, somatic practitioners, or relationship experts, and start working towards integrative, embodied healing today.
📞 Call us at (310) 651-8458
📱 Text us at (310) 210-7934
📩 Email us at admin@embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com
🔗 Visit us at www.embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com
👉 Check us out on Instagram @embodied_wellness_and_recovery
🌍 Explore our offerings at Linktr.ee: https://linktr.ee/laurendummit
References
1) Boszormenyi-Nagy, I., & Spark, G. M. (1973). Invisible loyalties: Reciprocity in intergenerational family therapy. Harper & Row.
2) Hooper, L. M. (2007). The application of attachment theory and family systems theory to the phenomenon of parentification. The Family Journal, 15(3), 217–223.
3) Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.
4) Schore, A. N. (2012). The science of the art of psychotherapy. W. W. Norton & Company.
Trauma Recovery Is Not Linear: What Your Therapist Really Means and Why It Matters
Trauma Recovery Is Not Linear: What Your Therapist Really Means and Why It Matters
Trauma recovery is rarely a straight line. Learn what therapists mean when they say trauma recovery is not linear, how the nervous system heals, and how therapy supports sustainable progress.
If you are in therapy for trauma, you may have heard your therapist say something like, “Trauma recovery is not linear.” While the phrase is well-intentioned, it can feel confusing or even discouraging when you are doing everything you can to feel better. One week, you feel grounded and hopeful. The following old symptoms return, emotions intensify, or your body feels hijacked by sensations you thought you had already worked through.
You may find yourself asking:
— Why am I struggling again after making progress?
— Does this mean therapy is not working?
— Why do triggers come back when I thought I had processed them?
— Am I failing at trauma recovery?
Understanding what “not linear” actually means from a neuroscience and trauma-informed perspective can reduce shame, restore hope, and help you recognize real progress as it happens.
At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we work with trauma as a nervous system experience, not a checklist of symptoms. Recovery does not move in a straight upward line. It unfolds in cycles, layers, and rhythms that reflect how the brain and body learn safety.
Why Trauma Recovery Does Not Follow a Straight Line
Trauma is not stored as a single memory that gets erased once talked about. It is encoded across multiple systems, including the brain, the autonomic nervous system, muscles, hormones, and sensory networks. Because of this, healing unfolds gradually and often revisits similar themes at deeper levels.
Neuroscience shows that the brain learns through repetition and pattern recognition. The nervous system does not shift from threat to safety all at once. It tests safety, retreats, and re-engages. This is not regression. It is how learning occurs.
Trauma recovery looks less like climbing a ladder and more like walking a spiral. You may revisit familiar emotions, memories, or relational patterns, but each time with slightly more awareness, capacity, or choice.
The Nervous System and Cycles of Healing
From a nervous system perspective, trauma recovery involves moving between states of activation and regulation. According to polyvagal theory, the autonomic nervous system constantly scans for safety or threat. When safety increases, regulation improves. When stress or reminders arise, the system may temporarily revert to protective responses.
This can look like:
— Increased anxiety after a period of calm
— Emotional flooding following insight
— Numbness after vulnerability
— A return of hypervigilance during relational stress
These shifts are not signs of failure. They are signs that the nervous system is learning to be flexible.
A regulated nervous system is not one that never gets activated. It is one that can move in and out of activation and return to baseline.
Why Symptoms Can Resurface After Progress
Many people are surprised when symptoms return after meaningful therapeutic work. This can be deeply discouraging without the proper framework.
Symptoms resurface for several reasons:
— New layers of trauma emerge as safety increases
— The nervous system tests whether regulation is reliable
— Life stress activates old neural pathways
— Relationship dynamics mirror early attachment wounds
— The body releases stored material in stages
In trauma therapy, improvement often creates enough stability for deeper material to surface. What feels like going backward is frequently a sign that the system trusts the process enough to reveal more.
Trauma Memory Is State Dependent
Trauma memory is not accessed randomly. It is often state-dependent. This means certain emotional or relational states activate specific memories or body responses.
For example:
— Intimacy may activate attachment trauma
— Conflict may trigger early powerlessness
— Rest may bring up grief that was previously suppressed
— Success may activate fear or shame
When these responses arise, they are not evidence that you have not healed. They provide information about what is still in need of integration.
Therapy helps you recognize these patterns and respond with curiosity rather than self-criticism.
The Difference Between Symptom Reduction and Integration
Many people equate healing with the absence of symptoms. While symptom relief is essential, trauma recovery is more accurately measured by integration.
Integration means:
— You notice triggers sooner
— You recover faster after activation.
— You have more choices in how you respond.
— You can feel emotions without being overwhelmed.
— You experience more internal coherence.
You may still have reactions, but they no longer define you or control your life in the same way.
Why Trauma Recovery Often Feels Messy
Healing disrupts old survival strategies. As those strategies loosen, there can be a temporary sense of disorientation.
You may notice:
— Shifts in identity
— Changes in relationships
— Grief for what was lost
— Anger you were not allowed to feel before
— Sadness that had been held at bay
This phase can feel unsettling, but it often precedes deeper stability.
Trauma recovery is not about becoming someone new. It is about reclaiming parts of yourself that were organized around survival.
Trauma Recovery and Relationships
Trauma healing rarely happens in isolation. As you change internally, your relationships may change as well.
You may:
— Set new boundaries.
— Tolerate less emotional inconsistency.
— Feel discomfort with old relational patterns.
— Grieve relationships that no longer fit.
— Experience conflict as you assert needs.
These shifts can temporarily increase distress even as they move you toward healthier connection. Therapy supports navigating relational change with clarity and compassion. At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we pay close attention to how trauma recovery intersects with intimacy, sexuality, attachment, and partnership.
Why Linear Thinking Increases Shame
When people expect recovery to be linear, they often interpret normal fluctuations as personal failure. This can lead to:
— Self-blame
— Hopelessness
— Premature termination of therapy
— Avoidance of deeper work
— Suppression of emotion
Understanding the nonlinear nature of healing reduces shame and fosters patience.
Progress is not defined by never struggling again. It is characterized by increased capacity to meet struggles with support and skill.
What Actually Signals Progress in Trauma Recovery
Signs of progress may include:
— You name what is happening instead of dissociating.
— You ask for support sooner.
— You feel safer in your body more often.
— You tolerate uncertainty with less panic.
— You experience more self-compassion.
— You repair relational ruptures more effectively.
These changes are subtle but profound. They often go unnoticed if you measure progress only by symptom elimination.
How Therapy Supports Nonlinear Healing
Trauma-informed therapy provides:
— A regulated relational environment
— Tools for nervous system regulation
— Meaning-making for confusing experiences
— A framework that normalizes fluctuation
— Support for pacing and integration
A
t Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we use attachment-focused, somatic, and neuroscience-based approaches to help clients understand and trust their own process. Rather than pushing for constant forward movement, we support stabilization, curiosity, and integration. This allows the nervous system to reorganize at its own pace.
A More Accurate Way to Think About Trauma Recovery
Instead of asking, “Why am I not over this yet?” consider asking:
— What is my nervous system learning right now?
— What is this reaction protecting?
— What support do I need in this moment?
— How is this different from last time?
These questions shift the focus from judgment to understanding. Trauma recovery is not linear because humans are not machines. We are adaptive systems shaped by experience, relationship, and meaning.
Moving Forward With Compassion and Perspective
If trauma recovery feels uneven, it does not mean you are doing it wrong. It means your nervous system is doing what it was designed to do: learn through experience.
Therapy offers a steady anchor as you navigate the ups and downs of healing. With the proper support, the overall trajectory moves toward greater safety, connection, and choice even when the path curves.
At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we are honored to offer attuned, ongoing care and steady therapeutic presence as individuals and couples make sense of their healing process and reconnect with their bodies, relationships, and inner resilience.
Reach out to schedule a complimentary 20-minute consultation with our team of therapists, trauma specialists, somatic practitioners, or relationship experts, and start working towards integrative, embodied healing today.
📞 Call us at (310) 651-8458
📱 Text us at (310) 210-7934
📩 Email us at admin@embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com
🔗 Visit us at www.embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com
👉 Check us out on Instagram @embodied_wellness_and_recovery
🌍 Explore our offerings at Linktr.ee: https://linktr.ee/laurendummit
References
1) Herman, J. L. (1992). Trauma and recovery: The aftermath of violence from domestic abuse to political terror. Basic Books.
2) Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.
3) Schore, A. N. (2012). The science of the art of psychotherapy. W. W. Norton & Company.
4) van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.