How to Be Happier: A Happiness Expert's Best Tips for Finding Joy, Awe, and Meaning Even During Difficult Times
How to Be Happier: A Happiness Expert's Best Tips for Finding Joy, Awe, and Meaning Even During Difficult Times
Looking for lasting happiness? Discover the neuroscience of happiness, the surprising power of awe, and practical ways to navigate suffering, increase emotional resilience, and cultivate greater meaning in everyday life.
Have you ever caught yourself wondering:
"Is this all there is?"
Maybe life feels repetitive. You move from one obligation to the next, checking items off your to-do list while feeling increasingly disconnected from yourself. Or perhaps you're carrying grief, betrayal, anxiety, depression, burnout, or trauma, making joy feel frustratingly out of reach. You may even feel guilty for wanting more. After all, your life might look good from the outside.
So why does it feel so flat on the inside? If you've searched "how to be happier," "how to find meaning in life," or "how to enjoy life again," you are asking questions that psychologists and neuroscientists have been exploring for decades.
Surprisingly, many happiness researchers agree on one important point: Happiness is not simply the absence of suffering. It is the presence of meaning, connection, curiosity, and the capacity to remain open to life's moments of beauty, even when life is difficult.
The Biggest Myth About Happiness
Many of us unconsciously believe:
"I'll finally be happy when..."
...I find the right relationship.
...I earn more money.
...My anxiety disappears.
...The children are older.
...I heal from trauma.
...Everything feels easier.
This belief places happiness perpetually in the future.
Research in positive psychology suggests that while external circumstances certainly matter, they explain far less of our long-term well-being than many people expect. Factors such as relationships, gratitude, purpose, psychological flexibility, and daily habits contribute significantly to subjective well-being (Lyubomirsky, Sheldon, & Schkade, 2005).
In other words: Happiness is often less about eliminating every hardship and more about how we experience our lives while living them.
The Neuroscience of Awe
One of the most fascinating discoveries in recent years is the growing body of research on awe. Awe is the emotional experience of encountering something vast, beautiful, meaningful, or unexpected that momentarily shifts your perspective beyond yourself.
Research by psychologist Dacher Keltner and colleagues suggests that experiences of awe are associated with:
— Greater life satisfaction
— Increased generosity
— Reduced stress
— Improved emotional well-being
— Stronger feelings of connection
— Lower self-focused rumination
From a neuroscience perspective, awe appears to quiet excessive self-referential thinking while expanding our awareness of the larger world around us.
Instead of asking:
"What's wrong with me?"
our attention shifts toward:
"Look at this incredible sunset."
"Listen to that music."
"I can't believe how beautiful these mountains are."
"Look at the way my child is laughing."
Even brief moments of awe can interrupt cycles of chronic worry.
Finding Awe Every Day
Many people assume awe requires extraordinary experiences, such as traveling to Iceland, standing at the Grand Canyon, seeing the Northern Lights, but research suggests awe can be cultivated through remarkably ordinary moments (Keltner, 2023).
You might find awe in:
— Watching sunlight move across your living room floor
— Listening to a symphony
— Walking beneath towering trees
— Observing ocean waves
— Looking through a telescope
— Watching your dog greet you with unrestrained joy
— Holding a newborn's hand
— Reading poetry that leaves you speechless
— Witnessing remarkable human kindness
The nervous system is continually scanning for danger. Practicing awe gently expands its capacity to notice beauty as well.
Happiness Is Not the Absence of Pain
One of the greatest misconceptions about emotional well-being is that emotionally healthy people do not suffer. They do. The difference is often found in how they relate to suffering. Psychological flexibility, a central concept within Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), refers to our ability to remain open to difficult internal experiences while continuing to move toward personally meaningful values (Hayes, Strosahl, & Wilson, 2012).
Instead of asking, "How do I stop feeling pain?", the question becomes, "How do I continue living meaningfully while pain is present?" That shift changes everything.
How to Navigate Suffering Without Becoming Consumed by It
Suffering deserves compassion. It deserves attention. It deserves support, but it does not always deserve exclusive control over your attention. One practice happiness researchers frequently emphasize is both/and thinking.
Both "I am grieving." and "I noticed the smell of fresh coffee this morning." Both "My relationship is struggling." and "My friend made me laugh." Both "I am carrying trauma." and "I felt peaceful watching birds outside my window." This is not toxic positivity. It is emotional integration. The brain becomes healthier when it develops the capacity to hold multiple truths simultaneously.
Relationships Matter More Than We Realize
One of the longest-running studies on happiness, the Harvard Study of Adult Development, has consistently found that the quality of our close relationships is one of the strongest predictors of long-term health and happiness (Fuchsman, 2023). Meaningful connection regulates the nervous system.
Feeling emotionally safe with another person reduces physiological stress and promotes resilience. This is one reason loneliness is associated with increased risk for depression, anxiety, cardiovascular disease, and even earlier mortality. Our nervous systems evolved in connection. We heal in connection, too.
Small Daily Practices That Increase Happiness
Lasting happiness rarely arrives through one dramatic event. Instead, it often grows from repeated moments of intentional living.
Consider incorporating:
— Noticing one moment of awe each day
— Expressing gratitude to someone directly
— Spending time outdoors
— Moving your body
— Limiting chronic comparison on social media
— Engaging in meaningful conversation
— Serving someone else
— Laughing often
— Protecting time for rest and play
Small practices, repeated consistently, reshape both habits and neural pathways.
What If Life Feels Meaningless Right Now?
Perhaps the most painful question is not, "Why am I unhappy?" It is: "Will I ever care about life the way I used to?" Periods of emotional numbness often accompany depression, trauma, chronic stress, burnout, grief, and prolonged adversity. During these seasons, pursuing happiness directly can feel impossible.
Instead, begin with curiosity. Can you notice one interesting thing today? One beautiful thing? One meaningful conversation? One tiny moment of wonder? Meaning often returns before happiness fully does, and meaning creates fertile ground from which happiness can gradually grow.
Happiness Is Something We Practice
At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we understand that cultivating happiness is not about pretending life is easy. It is about helping the nervous system become flexible enough to experience the full range of human emotion without becoming trapped in fear, shame, trauma, or disconnection.
Our integrative approach combines neuroscience, somatic therapies, attachment theory, trauma treatment, relationship therapy, and evidence-based psychological interventions to help clients strengthen resilience, deepen connection, and rediscover meaning. Perhaps happiness is not a destination waiting somewhere in the future.
Perhaps it is built through thousands of ordinary moments, such as looking up at the sky, receiving a friend's smile, listening to music that stirs your soul, allowing yourself to laugh, or finding awe in something unexpectedly beautiful. Sometimes the most extraordinary transformation begins when we teach our brains to notice that beauty has been quietly present all along.
Reach out to schedule a complimentary 20-minute consultation with our team of therapists, trauma specialists, somatic practitioners, or relationship experts and start working towards integrative, embodied healing today.
📞 Call us at (310) 651-8458
📱 Text us at (310) 210-7934
📩 Email us at admin@embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com
🔗 Visit us at www.embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com
👉 Check us out on Instagram @embodied_wellness_and_recovery
🌍 Explore our offerings at Linktr.ee: https://linktr.ee/laurendummit
References
Fuchsman, K. E. N. (2023). Harvard Grant Study of Adult Development: 1938–2022. Journal of Psychohistory, 51(1), 27.
Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2012). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: The process and practice of mindful change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
Keltner, D. (2023). Awe: The new science of everyday wonder and how it can transform your life. Penguin Press.
Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K. M., & Schkade, D. (2005). Pursuing happiness: The architecture of sustainable change. Review of General Psychology, 9(2), 111-131.
Waldinger, R. J., & Schulz, M. S. (2023). The Good Life: Lessons from the world's longest scientific study of happiness. Simon & Schuster.
Natural Mood Boosters: 8 Simple Ways to Feel Better Naturally
Natural Mood Boosters: 8 Simple Ways to Feel Better Naturally
Looking for natural ways to improve your mood? Discover 8 science-backed mood boosters that support anxiety, depression, stress reduction, and nervous system regulation. Learn how small daily habits can improve emotional well-being, energy, and resilience through neuroscience-informed strategies.
Have you been feeling emotionally flat, exhausted, or unlike yourself lately?
Do you wake up already feeling overwhelmed by the day ahead?
Have you noticed that even the things you used to enjoy no longer bring the same sense of satisfaction?
Maybe your anxiety has been running in the background for so long that you've forgotten what calm feels like. Perhaps you've been carrying chronic stress, struggling with low energy, feeling disconnected from your partner, or wondering why your motivation has disappeared.
If you've asked yourself, "Why can't I just snap out of this?" or "Why do I feel so emotionally drained?" you're asking questions many people quietly carry every day.
The encouraging news is that your emotional well-being is influenced by far more than willpower. Modern neuroscience shows that your brain and nervous system are constantly adapting to your experiences, habits, relationships, sleep, movement, and environment. While anxiety and depression often require professional treatment, small daily choices can meaningfully support mood, resilience, and emotional regulation.
At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we believe lasting emotional wellness happens when we care for both the brain and the body. Here are eight research-supported ways to naturally support your mood and help your nervous system move toward greater balance.
1. Move Your Body Even When You Don't Feel Like It
One of the most effective natural mood boosters is also one of the most overlooked.
Regular physical activity increases endorphins, supports dopamine production, enhances serotonin signaling, and stimulates brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), a protein that helps create new neural connections.
You do not need to complete an intense workout to benefit.
A brisk 20-minute walk.
Strength training.
Dancing in your kitchen.
Every movement sends your brain the message that your body is capable, adaptable, and alive. Research has consistently shown that exercise can significantly reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression while improving overall psychological well-being (Fox, 1999).
2. Regulate Your Nervous System Before Trying to Change Your Thoughts
When anxiety or depression take hold, many people believe they simply need to "think more positively." But your nervous system often needs support before your thoughts can shift.
Practices such as diaphragmatic breathing, mindfulness meditation, grounding exercises, humming, gentle stretching, and somatic awareness help calm the autonomic nervous system and increase activity in the parasympathetic branch, which is responsible for rest and restoration. When your body feels safer, your brain becomes more capable of flexible thinking, problem solving, and emotional regulation.
3. Spend Time Outside
Nature changes the brain in measurable ways. Studies have found that spending time in green spaces lowers cortisol, reduces activity in brain regions associated with rumination, improves attention, and enhances mood (Jacob et al., 2025). Even fifteen to twenty minutes outdoors can make a difference.
Try:
— Walking through a local park.
— Sitting beneath a tree during lunch.
— Gardening.
— Watching the sunrise or sunset.
— Taking your dog for an unhurried walk.
Your nervous system evolved in nature, not in constant digital stimulation.
4. Prioritize Restorative Sleep
Sleep and emotional health have a bidirectional relationship. Poor sleep increases emotional reactivity, reduces frustration tolerance, and heightens anxiety, while depression frequently disrupts normal sleep architecture. Improving sleep hygiene supports healthier emotional regulation by allowing the brain to consolidate memories, regulate stress hormones, and restore cognitive functioning.
Helpful strategies include:
— Going to bed at the same time each night.
— Limiting screens before bedtime.
— Reducing caffeine later in the day.
— Keeping your bedroom cool and dark.
— Developing a calming evening routine.
Better sleep often creates better emotional resilience.
5. Nourish Your Brain Along With Your Body
Food affects far more than physical health. The gut and brain communicate constantly through what scientists call the gut-brain axis. Nutrients influence neurotransmitter production, inflammation, and overall brain functioning.
While no single food cures depression, diets rich in vegetables, fruit, omega-3 fatty acids, legumes, whole grains, nuts, seeds, and lean proteins have been associated with lower rates of depression and improved mental health.
Rather than focusing on restriction, ask yourself:
"What small choice today could nourish both my brain and my body?"
6. Seek Safe Human Connection
One of the most powerful regulators of the nervous system is another regulated human being. Meaningful relationships help lower stress hormones, increase oxytocin, and improve emotional resilience. Unfortunately, anxiety and depression often convince us to withdraw precisely when connection is most needed.
Could you:
— Call a trusted friend?
— Schedule coffee with someone who feels emotionally safe?
— Attend a support group?
— Share honestly with your partner?
Healing relationships are not simply emotionally comforting. They are biologically regulating. At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we recognize that relationships are often both the source of emotional wounds and one of the most powerful avenues for repair.
7. Practice Self-Compassion Instead of Self-Criticism
If your inner dialogue sounds harsher than anything you would ever say to someone you love, your nervous system remains under constant stress. Research by Dr. Kristin Neff has shown that self-compassion is associated with lower anxiety, reduced depression, greater resilience, and healthier emotional regulation.
Instead of asking:
"What's wrong with me?"
Try asking:
"What would I say to someone I deeply cared about who was struggling this way?"
The brain responds differently to compassion than criticism. Over time, practicing kindness toward yourself literally helps reshape neural pathways associated with emotional regulation.
8. Know When to Seek Professional Support
Natural mood boosters are valuable tools, but they are not a substitute for comprehensive mental health treatment when symptoms become persistent or severe. If sadness, anxiety, hopelessness, relationship difficulties, trauma symptoms, panic attacks, or emotional numbness are interfering with your daily life, working with a qualified mental health professional can provide the support your brain and nervous system need.
At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we integrate neuroscience-informed psychotherapy with EMDR, somatic therapies, attachment-focused treatment, and evidence-based approaches to help clients address not only symptoms, but also the underlying experiences shaping them.
Whether someone is struggling with trauma, anxiety, depression, relationship challenges, intimacy concerns, or nervous system dysregulation, treatment is tailored to the whole person rather than a diagnosis alone.
Small Changes Create Meaningful Change
One of the greatest misconceptions about emotional wellness is that transformation requires dramatic change. In reality, the brain changes through repetition.
One walk.
One nourishing meal.
One good night's sleep.
One compassionate conversation.
One moment of slowing down to notice your breath.
These seemingly ordinary moments become extraordinary because they repeatedly teach your brain and nervous system that safety, regulation, and well-being are possible.
You do not have to change everything at once. You simply need to give your brain enough positive experiences that it begins expecting them. That is how resilience grows. That is how emotional health becomes more sustainable, and that is how small daily choices can gradually reshape the way you feel, think, connect, and live.
Reach out to schedule a complimentary 20-minute consultation with our team of therapists, trauma specialists, somatic practitioners, or relationship experts and start working towards integrative, embodied healing today.
📞 Call us at (310) 651-8458
📱 Text us at (310) 210-7934
📩 Email us at admin@embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com
🔗 Visit us at www.embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com
👉 Check us out on Instagram @embodied_wellness_and_recovery
🌍 Explore our offerings at Linktr.ee: https://linktr.ee/laurendummit
References
Fox, K. R. (1999). The influence of physical activity on mental well-being. Public Health Nutrition, 2(3a), 411-418.
Jacka, F. N., O'Neil, A., Opie, R., Itsiopoulos, C., Cotton, S., Mohebbi, M., Castle, D., Dash, S., Mihalopoulos, C., Chatterton, M. L., Brazionis, L., Dean, O. M., Hodge, A. M., & Berk, M. (2017). A randomized controlled trial of dietary improvement for adults with major depression (the SMILES trial). BMC Medicine, 15(23).
Jacob, D. E., Ekpe, E. E., Jacob, I. D., Daniel, K. S., & Daniel, E. K. (2025). Neurobiological and clinical benefits of nature exposure: Integrating active and passive restorative mechanisms. Advances in Medicine and Health Sciences Journal, 2, 005. Accepted: date: Accepted, 2
Neff, K. D. (2023). Self-compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself (Updated ed.). William Morrow.
Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.
Schuch, F. B., Vancampfort, D., Richards, J., Rosenbaum, S., Ward, P. B., & Stubbs, B. (2016). Exercise as a treatment for depression: A meta-analysis adjusting for publication bias. Journal of Psychiatric Research, 77, 42-51.
Twohig Bennett, C., & Jones, A. (2018). The health benefits of the great outdoors: A systematic review and meta-analysis of greenspace exposure and health outcomes. Environmental Research, 166, 628-637.